Coworker on the phone: No, sir, I am doing everything I can… Sir, you aren’t listening… Sir, as I have already said… Sir… I’m gonna kick you in yo’ head!
40th Street and 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: New to the company
Coworker on the phone: No, sir, I am doing everything I can… Sir, you aren’t listening… Sir, as I have already said… Sir… I’m gonna kick you in yo’ head!
40th Street and 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: New to the company
Middle Manager: Snapfish is right in downtown San Francisco.
Transsexual: Hmm, maybe I should go work for them.
Middle Manager: Oh, you’d love it, they’re very diverse…They’re all young. They’re all under 40.
Transsexual: Oh, maybe I’m too old.
3404 East Harmony Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Peon, after colleague leaves: I thought we agreed you weren’t going to talk to him so he wouldn’t come over any more!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Manager at employee bathroom: Why is this door propped open?
Waiter: Eric* just dropped a bomb in there.
Manager: Fuck, man, spray that air freshener.
Waiter: I did. The stink actually laughed at me.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Female intern: I’m not sorry.
Male worker: You should be. I missed my deadline.
Female intern: You missed your deadline because you are hungover, like, every day.
Male worker: Compounded by the fact I have to mentor skanks at work!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Blondie
Co-worker #1: Hey! Stop calling me psycho!
Co-worker #2: Sorry sir, I didn’t know you could read my thoughts.
401 NW 4th Street
Evansville, Indiana
Coworker #1: We should start a D&D game.
Coworker #2: Yeah. Let’s ask Ben* if he wants to play, too!
Coworker #1, yelling to Ben: Hey, want to play D&D later?
Ben, yelling back: No! I don’t play D&D!
Coworker #2: We thought you’d be a good Druid.
Ben, yelling back: Fuck that, I’m a thief acrobat!
Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Will
Worker #1 on speaker: I was wondering why [Billy] hasn’t called me yet.
Worker #2 on speaker: I’ll go make sure he calls you this time.
Worker #1 on speaker: Do me a favor and punch him in the kidney as you walk by for me! Make him crap blood for a night so he can think it over.
1 Dell Way
Round Rock, Texas
Female marketing executive to male sales executive: Well, you can just suck my imaginary dick!
Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland
Coworker: Remember that one guy that we interviewed that wouldn't stop staring at Rachel*'s tits?
Madison, Wisconsin
