Cube jockey #1: Attack me now like how you are talking about.
Cube jockey #2: If I attack you horizontally, it will cut open your middle.
Cube jockey #1: I know. That’s okay. Do it anyway.
Santa Clara, California
Cube jockey #1: Attack me now like how you are talking about.
Cube jockey #2: If I attack you horizontally, it will cut open your middle.
Cube jockey #1: I know. That’s okay. Do it anyway.
Santa Clara, California
Secretary: There was a black man who lived in my county. He was the only one. We called him Nigger Jim.
Co-worker: What?
Secretary: Oh, it was okay. He called himself that. He was retarded.
Co-worker: Where is he now?
Secretary: Prison.
130 East Main Street
Canton, Georgia
Worker #1: You have to move your car. You can't just park wherever you want. What do you think, that you're the queen bee?
Worker #2: No, that's you.
Worker #1: Right. Now that we got that straight, move your goddamn car!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Help me
Coworker: I hope that Gustav comes through and knocks the computers down for three days.
Blonde coworker: Oh yeah… Is that the new IT guy?
Coworker: Umm, no, that is the hurricane.
Houston, Texas
Male coworker: Why don't you get some prescription sunglasses?
Female coworker: Fuck that! Those are like hundreds of dollars, and that's money I could be spending on food and marijuana!
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker: Yes, I ordered Italian ice from your menu…Oh, so you don’t have any more Italian ice. Hmmm, what else would I like?…Oh, you don’t have Italian ice, but you have iced tea?…um, what?
1251 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Manager: Finally finished after the system went down on me, twice.
Omaha, Nebraska
Portly woman #1: You want half? It's thick, seriously… I can't finish that off.
Portly woman #2: I don't know if I'm up for that kinda mouthful today.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Female coworker: Oh my god, I just skooged all over you! I just shot my load!
(office is silent)
Female coworker: I was squishing my lotion and I even got it on my watch.
Manhattan, New York
Male coworker: Why are you laughing so hard?
Female coworker: I have absolutely no idea, but her head is in my crotch!
Fairfax, Virginia
