Employee #1: So the guy in jail I was telling you about, he’s dead! [Laughs]Employee #2: Ooh, that’s great for you then, right?
Employee #1: No, it was the wrong guy. There were two guys sitting in jail, and one of them died, but it was the wrong one.
Employee #2: So you owe your friend money?
Employee #1: Well not until the other guy dies. [pause] This is pretty morbid isn’t it?
Sparks Street
Ottawa, Canadia
Overheard by: a poor little intern
Coworker #1 (checking out woman who just entered office): Damn, that bitch is ugleeee. Yikes!
Coworker #2: Hey, you jerk! That's my mom!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: agreeing with co-worker #1
Maintenance #1: Don’t break ’em off.
Maintenance #2: Don’t break what off?
Maintenance #1: These nuts.
224 South Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Minion #1: Oh, yeah, I try not to go shopping during the holidays.
Minion #2: You can’t avoid it — the music, the squealing children, everything — it’s like a peppermint orgy.
Assistant, startled: Uh, what?
12th and Peachtree
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Say what?
Lesbian: Whatever it takes to get her pregnant. Even if I have to participate!
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Queer peon to coworker: Shut your face or I’ll shit in your throat!
West 38th Street
New York, New York
Receptionist: What happened to your light?
Worker: The switch broke off.
Receptionist: Well, how can you work in the dark? Are they going to fix it?
Worker: [Chris] went to shut off the fuse so that he can work on it.
Receptionist: Here, I’ll fix it.
Worker: Stop it, you’ll electrocute yourself!
11 Broadway
New York, NY
Office girl: Are you looking for something to unscrew?
Guy holding drill: No, the reverse.
Rocklin, California
[Technicians installing a new system]Technician #1: Ok, well it looks like we need to go up to the ceiling.
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
Technician #3: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #1: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
[Technician #2 goes up the ladder and takes some stuff apart]Technician #2: Ok, so I think this one is the heating hose.
Technician #1: That one’s the heating hose?
Technician #2: Yeah, this one’s the heating hose.
Technician #3: Ok, I?m going to activate it. Whoosh.
Technician #2: Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!
[Technician #3 turns it off]Technician #2: Ok, that’s the heating hose.
Enterprise Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois
