…In the Past Five Minutes.

Office guy #1, laughing: Man, your polo shirt is on inside out.
Office guy #2: That's the second time I've done that.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: rdguy

Posted on April 13, 2015
Clothes, Coworkers, Missouri, Weirdness

1PM Lunch

Worker: Lemon cod, please. With pasta and–
Server: Pasta’s an entree. Not a side.
Worker: Oh, I didn’t see it on the entree sign.
Server: That’s because it’s a side.

9000 Wisconsin Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: Barb

Posted on April 13, 2015
Comebacks, Coworkers, Employees, General Idiocy, Maryland, Meals and Snacks, Questions

I’d Say That’s True of Anyone in Nebraska

White clerk to black clerk: What are you doing over in these parts? Slummin’?

1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Doug’s Mom

Posted on April 13, 2015
Coworkers, Insults, Nebraska

We’re Very Attached to Old Gloria, with Her Wacky Pink Cord and All Those Friendly Buttons

Coworker: Gloria* is actually the name of the person’s phone we’re replacing.

727 Elmwood Avenue
Rochester, New York

Posted on April 13, 2015
Coworkers, Default, Names, New York

On the Plus Side, I Can’t See the Band at Rolling Stones Concerts

Short coworker behind tall coworker’s chair: I wish I were tall enough to hover more effectively.

Roseville Road
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: BanditCat

Posted on April 12, 2015
California, Coworkers, Gripes

How Enron Used to Recruit.

Old coworker listening to another one use the shredder: I can tell you have great shredding skills.

Watertown, Massachusetts

Overheard by: silently sitting in my cube

Posted on April 12, 2015
Compliments, Coworkers, Massachusetts, Technology

My Colleagues’ Hatred Keeps Our Marriage Spicy

Coworker #1 on phone: No, no, no, dammit! I swear, I’m going to hang up — I mean it, I’m going to hang up. No. No. No! Dammit, I said I am going to hang up!
Coworker #2 walks over, removes phone, slams it down: There, now we can all get back to our lives!
Coworker #1 redials: Sorry baby, some crazy twat I work with is having a bad day… What? What?! No! No! No! Dammit, I hate you! I’m hanging up!

Alpharetta, Georgia

Posted on April 12, 2015
Coworkers, Cubicles, Georgia, On the phone

We Outsource Jobs to Them, They Outsource Infanticide to Us

Employee #1: My brother-in-law just found out that he’s having a boy. It’s their third kid.
Employee #2: Wow, three? I’m only planning on having two.
Employee #1: What’s wrong with three kids?
Employee #2: Nothing’s wrong with it, but I believe in zero population growth.
Employee #3: That’s not for normal people, that’s for families in like China and India…admit it, you’re probably going to kill your girl babies too.

130 Cremona Drive
Santa Barbara, California