Employee #1: If you want to send me your resume, I’ll see if they’re looking to hire designers. I think they are.
Employee #2: Does the place resemble Hell?
Employee #1: You mean like here?
Employee #2: Yeah. Like, if it’s a few shades lighter red, and about half the amount of writhing souls, I’d be interested.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: cube prisoner
Male desk jockey to female desk jockey: Wow! Nice throw, Sally! That was great!
Female desk jockey: (silent stare)
Male desk jockey to other coworkers: Did you guys see that? Sally just got her shot in the bin from four desks away!
Other coworkers: (silent stares)
Female desk jockey, shouting: My name is Claire, you asshole! I've been sitting next to you for six months and you still don't know my name! I hate this fucking place so much!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: crr
Worker bee to another: … So she said it was fine that she’s smoking a pack a day while she’s pregnant. She doesn’t mind if the baby comes out a little small.
Another worker, from across the room: I’ve been smoking since I was 16, and my baby still isn’t born!
Chesterfield, Missouri
Overheard by: my mom smoked with me too…
Employee: I didn’t ask to be employee of the month — the mantle was thrust upon me!
Housewares store
New York, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
Receptionist to coworker: My whiney-ass husband was complaining that he slit his hand open.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Short fat woman, entering elevator: Hi, Gary, how are you this morning?
Gary, sighing: Oh, I'm okay. And you?
Short, fat woman: Well… I just started jazzercise on Mondays, and it's kicking my ass!
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: the elevator
Employee #1: Is anyone here a feminist?
Employee #2: What’s that?
Employee #1: So, that would be a no…
1301 Central Avenue
Evanston, Illinois
Woman: I hate working here. It makes me want to throw my morals out the window, and become a slut.
Co-worker: A slut…There’s an image for you.
Woman: I don’t mean I want to be a slut. I just want to know what all these people are like in bed. No one small, of course.
Co-worker: So you’ll be handing out a questionnaire?
56 59 Junction
Baldwin City, Kansas
Suit: When are you going to wear that neon green shirt?
Businesswoman: Oh, that shirt. He said he didn’t like it, so I looked at it and I thought, “You know what? He’s right!” It was hideous! So I went right away to that flea market place? The thrift store. Now someone else can wear it. Probably some homeless lady! Ha, ha, ha!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker: Have a good day, Susan*.
Susan*: Jesus is going to get her.
Raleigh, North Carolina
