Coworker: In the 30 years I’ve worked here, I’ve been married more times than I’ve called in sick.
Modesto, California
Overheard by: That’s not my job.
Coworker: In the 30 years I’ve worked here, I’ve been married more times than I’ve called in sick.
Modesto, California
Overheard by: That’s not my job.
Co-worker #1: Can I borrow a colored pen?
Co-worker #2: Here’s a red one, but I may need it later for drawing fire.
525 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Loud old woman #1: Did you hear about that huge fight that took place over the weekend where that teenager got killed?
Loud old woman #2: That’s why people should beat their children! Then this wouldn’t happen!
3430 Courthouse Drive
Ellicott City, Maryland
Co-worker #1: Are the movers coming?
Co-worker #2: You might want to shut down your computer and gather you things so they can bring in your desk.
Co-worker #1: What time will they be here?
Co-worker #2: Noon. So you’ve got some time.
Co-worker #1: It’s 12:45!
Co-worker #2: Oh my gosh! I’ve got to start wearing a watch.
Co-worker #1: Why don’t you?
Co-worker #2: They give me rashes.
5203 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia
Ad guy, discussing viability of a “dildo flask”: That way you have a business end and a party end.
Ad gal: Both ends are the party end on a hoo-ha flask!
Rio Salado Parkway
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Jeff
Older worker lady in lunch room: You know those hula hoops have a coating on them that makes them very slippery. They slip off your clothes and you can't keep them going. So, unless you're nude…
Remainder of lunch room: Too much information!
Boston, Massachusetts
Office grunt #1: You know, it must be kind of easy to be conservative.
Office grunt #2: Yeah, it probably is.
Office grunt #1: Because they always have the fall-back slippery slope type of argument. ‘Well, if we allow this, then this could happen, and this could happen, and what about this? Camels may roam the streets in gangs!’
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Shannon
Hotel clerk #1 to another, after seeing tv news report: Can you believe someone left that secret iPhone at a bar?
Hotel clerk #2: Well, not all the stupid people work here.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Jasper
Coworker: I mean, don't you ever feel like killing someone and wearing their head like a hat?
Las Vegas, Nevada
