Receptionist to coworker: My whiney-ass husband was complaining that he slit his hand open.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Receptionist to coworker: My whiney-ass husband was complaining that he slit his hand open.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Short fat woman, entering elevator: Hi, Gary, how are you this morning?
Gary, sighing: Oh, I'm okay. And you?
Short, fat woman: Well… I just started jazzercise on Mondays, and it's kicking my ass!
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: the elevator
Employee #1: Is anyone here a feminist?
Employee #2: What’s that?
Employee #1: So, that would be a no…
1301 Central Avenue
Evanston, Illinois
Woman: I hate working here. It makes me want to throw my morals out the window, and become a slut.
Co-worker: A slut…There’s an image for you.
Woman: I don’t mean I want to be a slut. I just want to know what all these people are like in bed. No one small, of course.
Co-worker: So you’ll be handing out a questionnaire?
56 59 Junction
Baldwin City, Kansas
Suit: When are you going to wear that neon green shirt?
Businesswoman: Oh, that shirt. He said he didn’t like it, so I looked at it and I thought, “You know what? He’s right!” It was hideous! So I went right away to that flea market place? The thrift store. Now someone else can wear it. Probably some homeless lady! Ha, ha, ha!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker: Have a good day, Susan*.
Susan*: Jesus is going to get her.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Coworker #1: I’m really excited about getting my hair cut tonight.
Coworker #2: What are you going to have done?
Coworker #1: I don’t know. I usually just say, ‘Surprise me.’
Coworker #2: Oh. That’s what I said last time…
Coworker #1: That was a big mistake for you, wasn’t it?
111 South 1st Avenue
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: McMathis
Coworker: I need to order some more super sticky notes. This is how much they cost. Okay to order?
Boss lady: What do we use these for?
Coworker: Labeling crates. We need super sticky notes because regular post-its don't stay.
Boss lady: How much for regular post-its and tape?
Coworker: (silence)
Cincinnati, Ohio
Sad girl, folding t-shirts: And I totally didn't understand why he's like “we need some time apart”. Like, I really thought he was my soulmate. We were the fairytale movie couple, I really loved him… And then he's just like “you call too much. You talk too much. You should stop calling me”.
Uninterested male coworker: Uh, well, you said he paid you for what you called a “one night stand”…
Sad girl: Well, it sounds so bad when you say it like that. Yes, he paid me for that, but I don't know… I felt a connection.
Uninterested male coworker: Yeah, uh… You're a prostitute and he just wanted sex.
Sad girl: Oh, shut up, ass!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Julie
Office grunt: Now, just so you understand — I’m no stranger to drugs.
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: where’s the good stuff
