Coworker #1: What's the abbreviation for “Mountain Time”?
Coworker #2: MST.
Coworker #1: Then what does “GMT” mean?
Coworker #2: General Mountain Time?
Coworker #1: Oh, okay!
Westwood, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: What's the abbreviation for “Mountain Time”?
Coworker #2: MST.
Coworker #1: Then what does “GMT” mean?
Coworker #2: General Mountain Time?
Coworker #1: Oh, okay!
Westwood, Massachusetts
Receptionist #1: Well, it’s not like you need the money.
Receptionist #2: I could use it, though…
Receptionist #1: But it’s, like, life-threatening surgery.
Receptionist #2: It’s life-threatening? [Receptionist #1 answers phone.] It’s life-threatening?!
Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: cubiclelove
Office worker #1: Have you ever noticed that dog feet smell like popcorn?
Office worker #2: That is going to be my quote of the week!
Fairbanks, Alaska
Overheard by: nunyabidnizz
Office peon #1: Gah, if I could just tell Excel what I want, it’d be so easy. ‘Do this!’ I’d say, and it would be like, ‘Sure!’ and life would be simpler.
Office peon #2: Or it wouldn’t listen, and you’d put on some leather straps with nipple rings and it’d say, ‘Hit me again. Let me see you get reeeal angry.’
University of Utah
Salt Lake City, Utah
Office guy: As I told him, it’s not the speed of the train that matters when a train hits you, it’s the force. They tried to do CPR and their hands just disappeared into his chest…
515 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Rosskel
Coworker on phone: Well, this dinosaur works better than your new Mercedes!
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Co-worker #1: Can you make those changes I requested?
Co-worker #2: Did you ever email me the information?
Co-worker #1: No. I’ll have it to you in 10 minutes.
Co-worker #2: Sorry, party starts in 4 minutes.
1932 Highland Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
Nurse: Yeah, and she came in with a bandanna rotting inside her. Her brilliant boyfriend used it as a condom.
Girl #1: Dude! Sperm will soak right through that shit! He should have used a plastic bag or something. Maybe some Saran Wrap and a rubber band.
Girl #2: Seriously! What if she got pregnant?
Girl #1: The baby will come out with a doo-rag on its head, saying, ‘Whassup, Moms?!’
Saratoga & Kiely
Overheard by: People are sick
Underling to another: As someone who owns not one but two pairs of Dale Earnhardt pajama pants, I am in no position to criticize you for growing up in a trailer park.
Washington, DC
Office peon on phone: Just an FYI — Sarge plays with the vibrating Hello Kitty all the time.
Newark, Delaware
