Separating the Boys from the Mens’ Room

Guy #1: Why did you only wash one hand?
Guy #2: I only peed on one hand.
Guy #1: You’re an idiot.

737 S. 3rd Street
Louisville, Kentucky

Posted on April 30, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Insults, Kentucky, Questions, Restroom

NewsFlash: Indianapolis Churro Scandal!

Newbie: I need to use the restroom.
Waiter: If you need to shit you’d better get here before the Mexicans get in the employee bathroom. I don’t know what the fuck they eat, but their shit smells like it has sugar on it.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on April 30, 2015
Advice, Coworkers, Indiana

They Seem to Follow You around the Room

Coworker on phone: But he always says, ‘I can’t dance, I can’t dance…’ No, it’s because his breasts jiggle around when he swings his hips, and he’s so insecure about his breasts. That’s why he can’t meet any girls — his breasts move whenever he dances.

Austin, Texas

Posted on April 30, 2015
Coworkers, Diet & Weight, Gossip, On the phone, Texas

Stuffed and on the Mantel? Oh.

Coworker to another: How's the dog? I can't ask you “how's the family?” or “how are the friends?” because you got none, but you have a dog, right?

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: my office is fun

Posted on April 30, 2015
Animals, Australia, Coworkers, Family, Questions, Weirdness

And All My Good Silverware Was Missing

Male coworker to another: I woke up this morning and you weren't there.

7th St
Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Phone Slave

Posted on April 29, 2015
Coworkers, Default, Ohio, Relationships

Lawyers Can't Keep Themselves from Following a Line Of Questioning

Office lady #1: What are you bringing tomorrow?
Office lady #2: Muffin tops.
Office lady #1: What are those?
Office lady #3: Uhhhh… the tops of muffins.
Office lady #1: Where from?

Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on April 29, 2015
Alabama, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Questions

Two– I Only Count the Happy Years

Coworker #1: So what are you doing this weekend?
Coworker #2: My wife and I are celebrating our 23rd anniversary.
Coworker #1: So how long have you guys been married?

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: huh?

Posted on April 29, 2015
Age and ageing, Arizona, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Questions

That Explains What Happened to the Chair Cushions in the Conference Room

Coworker #1, after big move: Hey, we've got another box empty.
Coworker #2: Great, we can use it for these mystery files until they've got somewhere to go.
Coworker #1: Really? Um, I was going to start building a fort with it.

Sheffield
England

Posted on April 29, 2015
Coworkers, England, Weirdness

But It’s That Kind of Go-Get-’em Attitude That Makes It So Hard For Me to Retire

Co-Worker #1: So, your last day is coming up, right?
Co-Worker #2: Yeah, thank God for that.
Co-Worker #1: I wonder who they will replace you with. Maybe the homeless guy on the street. I bet he could do as good as you.
Co-Worker #2: I’m not sure I like your style.

Santa Monica, California

Posted on April 29, 2015
California, Coworkers, Insults, Questions

At This Time, the Word “Juicy” Is Not on Any Part of My Body

Worker #1: Are you coming out for a drink after work tonight?
Worker #2: I’m meeting some friends out afterwards, so I’m going to go home first to get changed.
Worker #1: Why do you need to get changed? Just wear what you have on, it’s fine!
Worker #2: Well all my friends dress like skanks and I don’t want to look overdressed.

Hay Street
West Perth
Australia

Posted on April 29, 2015
Australia, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Drinking, Offers and requests, Physical Appearance, Questions

Coworkers