Cube-rat #1:(coughs loudly)
Cube-rat #2: Do you need CPR?
Cube-rat #1: No, I need these m&m bits out of my nostrils!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Cube-rat #1:(coughs loudly)
Cube-rat #2: Do you need CPR?
Cube-rat #1: No, I need these m&m bits out of my nostrils!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Girl #1: Ouch! My thong's making my buttcrack raw.
Girl #2: That's weird. Mine never do.
Girl #1: Yeah, it's probably because this is day three without washing it.
Girl #2: Uh…
Girl #1: I just got 'em the other day, and I love them so much that I don't wanna stop wearing them. They have an ice cream cone on the crotch and they say “lick me”.
Girl #2: Cute! Where'd you get them?
Girl #1: I don't know, my grandma bought them for me.
3rd Avenue
Duluth, Minesotta
Coworker on phone: If your nipples are more than a inch long you really don't want all that excess sticking out.
Chico, California
Man, discussing his morning routine with dogs: I'm up early. I walk them, brush them out, wash their balls, and oh boy, that gets them excited, and then we get in some good play time!
Cubicle mate: Ummm, balls?
Man: Balls, the bouncy kind…they're female.
Cubicle mate: That's disappointing.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Chai Tea
Coworker #1: Dammit! I hate being poisoned!
Coworker #2: You know, something tells me that you aren’t doing paperwork.
460 Canning Highway
Perth, Australia
White dude to black coworker: The cool thing about Obama is that he is able to transcend race. He’s the ultimate embodiment of American multiculturalism and pluralism. He’s white and black, and his race doesn’t matter, he’s got character, which was Martin Luther King’s dream, that people would be judged according to the content of their character, not the color of their skin.
White dude #2: Yeah, well, I just can’t wait until Obama gets into office and he invites MTV over to the White House to film an episode of Cribs and he’s got a stripper pole in the basement right by his poster of Scarface.
130th Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Stan Green
Co-worker #1: Is cheesecake a cake or a pie?
Co-worker #2: Hmm…good question. I think it’s pie, ’cause it’s got a crust.
5900 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Afshin
Loudest woman in the office on phone: I do not want chow mein. Can you hear me now? I do not want chow mein.
Burbank, California
Coworker #1 to vendor carrying box out door: Dick, are you coming back in?
Coworker #2: That's what he does, he comes in, he goes out, he comes in, he goes out, all day long.
Coworker #3: Don't you think that gets old after a while?
Coworker #2: What? I'm telling the truth. Dick comes in, dick goes out, he comes in and goes out.
Coworker #1: What grade are you in? Third?
Coworker #2: I wasn't saying anything that wasn't true. It's not my fault you guys have dirty minds. Dick comes in and goes out a lot, all day long.
Connecticut
Overheard by: omfg, he's so annoying
Co-worker slams down the phone and says: Okay, it’s official, you have to be retarded to work in our accounting office.
187 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Janet
