Coworker #1: A friend of my wife's maid of honor just got married. They have a live-in girlfriend. Let me say that again. They have a live-in girlfriend. I tell ya, the world's going to hell in a handbasket.
Coworker #2: That's the Three's Company we never got to see!
Dimondale, Michigan
Colleague #1: Just put it in your mouth!
Colleague #2: No! I've licked it and I don't like it.
Chippenham
England
Overheard by: Betty
Co-worker #1: Hey! Welcome back. I can’t believe you have mono!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, [Tamra] wants to make out with you so she can lose 50 pounds.
1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephani
Coworker #1: Doesn't Tanisha look a bit hot under the collar there?
Coworker #2: Must be the weather.
Coworker #1: I feel so sorry for black people, considering black attracts the sun and all.
Boston, Massachusetts
Male to female worker: I always support you. I empower you… You piece of shit.
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: Office Manager
Peon #1: My husband's Xbox died last night.
Peon #2: Oh, how sad. Were they close?
Sacramento, California
Lady peon #1: Are you going to participate in Lou’s retirement party?
Lady peon #2: Yes — I’m going to jump out of the cake.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The Quotable Cubicle
Worker bee #1: Five second rule!
Worker bee #2: I’m from India. I can digest toxic waste!
D’Onofrio Drive
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Minx
Flamboyant male coworker to female coworker: Can I borrow your cream?
Female co-worker: (stunned silence)
Flamboyant male coworker: Er! Cream-er!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: liz
Coworker to another: I still live at home with my mom and dad; and I have no reproductive opportunities whatsoever.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: travisperiod
