Well, What Are My Choices?

Worker bee #1: Have you ever been constipated?
Worker bee #2: Not severely.
Worker bee #1: Oh, it’s horrible! I hate it! I would rather have diarrhea!
Worker bee #2: No, you wouldn’t.
Worker bee #1: Oh, yes, I would! At least then you know there’s going to be an end to it… It wears out.
Worker bee #2: Yeah, but with diarrhea you could have an accident.
Worker bee #1: Well, I didn’t say that it was a choice between being constipated and having an accident. You don’t alwayshave an accident.

110 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Jaime

Posted on May 29, 2015
Coworkers, New York, Restroom

In the Same Way That a Fire Exit Involves Jumping through a Ring Of Fire?

Young female cashier to coworker: I saw this sign at Caribou Coffee that said “fire sprinkler.” I really want to see one of those. I mean, what is it? Does it shoot out fire or something?

Fairborn, Ohio

Posted on May 29, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Ohio, Questions, Technology, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

And You've Missed the Cutting Of the Urinal Cake

Nosy employee #1: Sounds like there's a party going on in the bathroom.
Nosy employee #2: Well, there is!

Norwalk, Connecticut

Posted on May 29, 2015
Connecticut, Coworkers, Restroom, Weirdness

Need to Impress Someone?

Coworker: Hey, does anyone have a dollar that I could borrow for an hour?

Houston, Texas

Posted on May 29, 2015
Coworkers, Money, Offers and requests, Texas

On the Plus Side, I Can Fit Through Mail-Slots

Guy peon: Haven’t you seen the commercials?
Lady peon: I don’t pay attention to them. I’m so one-dimensional.

745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on May 29, 2015
Coworkers, Gripes, Massachusetts, Questions

But It's Clean and It Rhymes With “Celebrated”

Worker #1: Can you sign Louise's birthday card?
Worker #2 (reading card): You know, “decapitated” is one of those words that never looks like it's spelled right.

Chevy Chase Building
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Xen