Flunky #1: She’s trying to hire a secretary. She said she wants someone to get here early in the morning and unlock her office door before she gets here, so she’ll be able to just walk in.
Flunky #2: So…who’s going to wipe her ass?
525 East 68th Street
New York, NY
White male caseworker, over cubicle wall: We have off Monday?
Female caseworker: Yes, ma?am!
White male caseworker: Hey!
Female caseworker: Oh, sorry. I thought you were a black woman with a really deep voice!
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: (mumbles)
Coworker #2: Hah?
Coworker #1: Hah? Oh, I am just talking to myself.
Coworker #2: Oh. As long as you are not answering yourself.
Coworker #1: I do! I don't want to be rude!
Manhattan, New York
Co-worker on phone: Hi [Victor], I was just calling about the new nano covers. They are priced the same and everything but one comes with a little white strap and the other comes with a big black one…So it’s just the customer’s choice whether they want a big black one or a little white one?
432 St. Kilda Road
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Data Monkey
Coworker: I hope I don’t get molasses in my dog bite.
Niagara & West Ferry
Buffalo, New York
Cube dweller #1: So then “groom,” like the horse kind.
Cube dweller #2: Uh, okay, or like the husband.
Cube dweller #3: Or the thing you clean your kitchen with.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, that's a “broom.”
Washington, DC
Overheard by: emc
Coworker #1: So you can swallow it all right? You don't have to keep spitting out every sample, do you?
Coworker #2: No… You can swallow.
Lorton, Virginia
Coworker on phone: What? So even for a million pounds you wouldn't let her sit on your face?!
Soho
London
England
Coworker #1: Another thing I recommend for you website is breadcrumb navigation, which…
Coworker #2: You know, now they have GPS.
Santa Barbara, California
Engineer cleaning out her purse: Hey look! I had four cereal bars in there!
Geeky coworker: Look at the way those are laying next to each other on the desk, one right next to the other… Those aren’t cereal, they are parallel universes!
Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: The Surly Programmer
