New guy: You tend to put a lot of extraneous information in your reports.
Lifer: “Extraneous”? There's one I don't hear often. I generally get “terse.”
New guy: Oh, I just think “extraneous” is a better adjective.
Lifer: They are opposites!
Irvine, California
Overheard by: never a dull moment
Co-worker #1: What did you bring for lunch today?
Co-worker #2: Leftover Indian food from last night.
Co-worker #1: Indian food, huh? Never had it. Is it good?
Co-worker #2: It’s great. This type is vegetarian.
Co-worker #1: Vegetarian? I thought Indians eat buffalo.
6035 Peachtree Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Keith Canseco
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Co-worker #1: I was a temp there for 2 years before I realized it wasn’t a temp job.
Co-worker #2: …
352 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Office lady to coworker: I don't mean to be offensive, but he's a handsome rapist.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Jennifer
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Do you need me to come over there?
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): No, sir, I just got it up. Everything's fine.
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Well, let me know if you need help and I'll send someone over.
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): Roger that, sir.
Pacific Fleet Headquarters
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
Overheard by: Just a lowly contractor
Cube dweller #1: You like chunky peanut butter, don’t you?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, I do.
Cube dweller #1: Pervert.
135 East 57th Street
New York, New York
Telemarketer: Hello, could I speak to Wally the Clown please?
(short pause)
Telemarketer: Oh, sorry to disturb you then. (to coworker) Dialed the wrong number!
Talbot Road
Manchester
England
Overheard by: Thomas
Co-worker #1: I’ve got a great idea for our new slogan: “Ask me how to get trim!”
Co-worker #2: Uh…I am just going to say that I am not comfortable with that.
4849 South Austin Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker #1: So did you like 28 Days Later?
Coworker #2: Well, I didn't like the zombies.
Coworker #1: Why?
Coworker #2: I don't know… They weren't really zombies. Zombies don't think; they don't strategize. That's what makes them zombies!
Water Street
New York City, New York
