Should Have Just Used Duct Tape

Receptionist: … And let me just tell you, those at-home wart freezers do not work on your poonani.

Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Glad I wore my space suit

Posted on April 1, 2018
California, Consultants, Gossip

With My Dreds

Admin: You need a haircut.
Service guy: I need to go club some baby seals.

Irvine, California

Overheard by: i just answer the phone…

Posted on March 19, 2018
Admins, Animals, California, Employees, Physical Appearance, Violence, Weirdness

Mr. Saturn Went to Prison for Eating His Tots

Manager: If you give me Tater Tots for breakfast… Shit yeah, I'll eat em!

Culver City, California

Posted on March 16, 2018
Body Parts, Bosses, California, Meals and Snacks

Is Anyone Feeling a Little Dirty After All This Pie Talk?

Cashier, answering phone: Hello, Baker’s Square. [Pause.]Cashier, incredulous: Do we sell pies? [Pause.]Cashier, boastful: We were voted best pies in the world, we entered a contest and won. [Pause.]Cashier, sober: Yes, we sell pies. [Pause.]Cashier, indignant: A barbecue pie? I never heard of such a thing in my entire life. [Pause.]Cashier, impatient: Ma’am, did you have a specific question? I’m pretty busy. [Pause.]Cashier, puzzled: [Hangs up.]

Silicon Valley, California

Overheard by: My Good Ear

Posted on March 10, 2018
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

With Lady Quackbeth Somewhere in the Middle

Manager to another: I'm more comfortable with the Shakespearean heroines than the ducklings.

San Francisco

Posted on March 6, 2018
Admins, California, Feelings, Philosophy, Physical Appearance

Some Sandwich Makers Take Their Jobs Way Too Seriously

Coworker on phone: No, no, they want to build a better mousetrap. We want to take the mousetrap, dismantle it, and build an aircraft carrier. It's completely different.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Melissa

Posted on February 22, 2018
Animals, California, Coworkers, On the phone, Technology, Weirdness, Wishes

You Know the Paper Doesn't Actually Go Through the Phone Line?

Boss (giving papers to peon) Would you please fax these for me ASAP?
Peon (taking papers) Sure thing.
Peon (faxes, brings back papers) Here you go.
Boss: I thought I told you to fax these!

San Diego, California

Posted on February 19, 2018
Bosses and Underlings, California, General Idiocy, Offers and requests, Technology

Except for the Super Bowl, Obviously.

Fire department personnel, answering phone: Fire department, can I help you?
Woman on phone: Yes, can I get a burn permit?
Fire department personnel: Yes, ma'am, just come to our office and we'll write one.
Woman on phone: And what are your hours?
Fire department personnel: Uh, ma'am? We're the fire department, we don't close.

California