Is Anyone Feeling a Little Dirty After All This Pie Talk?

Cashier, answering phone: Hello, Baker’s Square. [Pause.]Cashier, incredulous: Do we sell pies? [Pause.]Cashier, boastful: We were voted best pies in the world, we entered a contest and won. [Pause.]Cashier, sober: Yes, we sell pies. [Pause.]Cashier, indignant: A barbecue pie? I never heard of such a thing in my entire life. [Pause.]Cashier, impatient: Ma’am, did you have a specific question? I’m pretty busy. [Pause.]Cashier, puzzled: [Hangs up.]

Silicon Valley, California

Overheard by: My Good Ear

Posted on March 10, 2018
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

With Lady Quackbeth Somewhere in the Middle

Manager to another: I'm more comfortable with the Shakespearean heroines than the ducklings.

San Francisco

Posted on March 6, 2018
Admins, California, Feelings, Philosophy, Physical Appearance

Some Sandwich Makers Take Their Jobs Way Too Seriously

Coworker on phone: No, no, they want to build a better mousetrap. We want to take the mousetrap, dismantle it, and build an aircraft carrier. It's completely different.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Melissa

Posted on February 22, 2018
Animals, California, Coworkers, On the phone, Technology, Weirdness, Wishes

You Know the Paper Doesn't Actually Go Through the Phone Line?

Boss (giving papers to peon) Would you please fax these for me ASAP?
Peon (taking papers) Sure thing.
Peon (faxes, brings back papers) Here you go.
Boss: I thought I told you to fax these!

San Diego, California

Posted on February 19, 2018
Bosses and Underlings, California, General Idiocy, Offers and requests, Technology

Except for the Super Bowl, Obviously.

Fire department personnel, answering phone: Fire department, can I help you?
Woman on phone: Yes, can I get a burn permit?
Fire department personnel: Yes, ma'am, just come to our office and we'll write one.
Woman on phone: And what are your hours?
Fire department personnel: Uh, ma'am? We're the fire department, we don't close.

California

Posted on February 16, 2018
California, Customers, Employees, Offers and requests, On the phone, Time Management

Nobody’s Gonna Build There a Second Time

Coworker: What’s the deal with these lot loans?
Manager: Your mom’s a lot loan.

San Ramon, California

Overheard by: cracking up

Posted on February 4, 2018
Bosses and Underlings, California, Comebacks, General Idiocy, Questions

They Let You Handle Drugs?

Customer to pharmacy tech: I don't want you. I want the guy with goatee. Where's the guy with goatee?
Pharmacy tech: Nobody here has gold teeth.

Los angeles, California

Overheard by: Don't have either one

Posted on February 2, 2018
California, Customers, Physical Appearance, Tech People, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

3PM Coffee Break

Payroll: Have you been outside today? It’s getting really warm!
Employee: Yes, I magically teleported here this morning without ever stepping outside.

22342 Avenida Empresa
Rancho Santa Margarita, California

Posted on January 19, 2018
California, Coworkers, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy

And Ugly, Clueless Children

Coworker: If you do it brainless, you end up with crappy data.

Sacramento, California

Posted on January 13, 2018
Advice, California, Coworkers, General Idiocy

One of the More Confusing Motivational Speakers

Grunt: Why the hell should I care if some stupid Egyptian thinks I look like a ragamuffin?

Sutter Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Front Desk

Posted on January 8, 2018
California, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Questions