Coworker to German boss: Every time I see the Dalai Lama, I feel better. It's true, don't you just feel better when you see the Dalai Lama?
German boss: Every time I see Steve Jobs, I feel better.
Van Nuys, California
Overheard by: two chicks laughing in our cubes
Boss: They're firing a warning shot over the left bow.
Dayton, Ohio
Female manager to male manager annoying her: So how does your coffee and Visine taste this morning?
Bakersfield, California
CSR: I saw the dumbest program on television last night.
Assistant Manager: You'll have those on television.
Indiana
Manager on phone with customer service: If they shit on me, I'll piss on them.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Cue
Sales manager: Can you drop a historical load with the initial dump?
Fairfield, New Jersey
Boss: Does something pop up when I do this?
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Overheard by: Ideally
Boss's boss: I have to live in whoop-whoop. It's all that I can afford. (pause) Besides, where would I keep my horse?
Sydney
Australia
Offshore driller, turning around to boss: Quit poking me!
Older boss: Man, we ain't on Facebook!
Kuwait City
Kuwait
IT director, leaving: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the storage room trying to hang myself. I can't deal with this shit anymore.
Kansas City, Missouri
