Why Not Everyone Should Reproduce

Waiter, at new copy machine: Which way does this go in: face down or up, sideways or lengthways?…You’re not going to tell me, are you?
Manager: We’ve got plenty of paper over there; keep trying until you get it right.

45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on April 20, 2015
Advice, Blue Collar, Bosses, Indiana, Questions, Technology

Umm, Don't You Pay Me to Think For You?

Coworker: I need to order some more super sticky notes. This is how much they cost. Okay to order?
Boss lady: What do we use these for?
Coworker: Labeling crates. We need super sticky notes because regular post-its don't stay.
Boss lady: How much for regular post-its and tape?
Coworker: (silence)

Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on April 18, 2015
Bosses, Coworkers, Money, Office Politics, Ohio, Questions

You Can't Teach Talent

Program manager on phone: Have you thought of marrying this chick? (pause) Does she give good head? (pause) Okay, is she willing to learn?

North Carolina

Posted on April 15, 2015
Bosses, Education, North Carolina, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality

Why You Should Never Date Your Boss

Boss: What?
Employee: What…?
Boss: No, I just said “what?”
Employee: What?
Boss: No, that is what I am asking: what?
Employee: What…?
Boss: Never mind!

Lincoln Park, Michigan

Posted on April 15, 2015
Bosses, Employees, Michigan, Questions, Weirdness

But Especially Monster Truck Rallies

[sick worker comes to work]Boss: Shouldn’t you be at home eating Ginger Ale and Saltines?
Sick worker: Yeah, probably.
Boss: Everything’s better with Ginger Ale and Saltines.

Seagram’s Building
New York City, New York

Posted on April 15, 2015
Advice, Bosses, Coworkers, Default, Health & Hygiene

Wasted Away Again in Marymagdaville

Owner: Oh shit. I just spilled tequila on the church fliers.

Jonesboro, Arizona

Overheard by: Mark Knight

Posted on April 12, 2015
Accidents, Arizona, Bosses, Default, Drinking

And Does It Have Anything to Do with Cookie Monster's Eyes?

New admin asst: Where can I find this address?
Office manager: I usually just google the company name and get it from their website.
New admin asst: You what?
Office manager: I look it up on google.
New admin asst: What's google?

Santa Anita Arcadia, California

Posted on April 11, 2015
Admins, Bosses, California, General Idiocy, Internet, Questions

The Next Six Months Should Be Fun

Manager: Because your job can be done more efficiently and less expensively overseas, you are being laid off. However, your particular layoff will be delayed for five months because the work you do on your contract cannot be done overseas. Your projected end date will be 10/31.
Employee: Um, please repeat that, and think about it while you do so.
Manager (after repeating): Oh. Um, sorry.

Upstate New York

Posted on April 10, 2015
Bosses, Employees, Hiring & Firing, New York, Time Management, Words

Or, As the French Call It, “Le Mall”

Manager #1: Are you writing “I hate you” in all the languages you know?
Manager #2: Yes.
Manager #1: So cultured.
Manager #2: How many languages do you know?
Manager #1: I took eight years of french.
Manager #2: Oh, are you fluent?
Manager #1: I can find the mall.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: in your office listening to your convos

Posted on April 9, 2015
Bosses, Feelings, Massachusetts, Questions, Words

…As Seen in Two Goudas, One Cup

Boss: He wants her to go down on the cheese.

Beverly, Massachusetts

Posted on April 6, 2015
Bosses, Massachusetts, Meals and Snacks, Wishes

Bosses