Manager at IT training: For this project we're going to need buy-in from all of you.
Other managers: We agree.
Manager: Because every time we try to do a project like this, you buy-out right away.
McGill College
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: IT Trainer
Boss: Do you have any gum? I smell like tuna.
Secretary: Yes?
Boss: Thanks, I don't understand why I smell like tuna, I haven't eaten any today…
Reston, Virginia
Pushy boss: Go on! Get in there! It's a meet-and-greet! Don't you want to meet the folks you'll be servicing?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Waiting to be Serviced
40-something VP, about weather: What a great day–55 today!
Project manager: Wow! I would have never guessed–happy birthday!
Warwick, Maryland
Boss to another: I have a policy manual on when to take a dump each day.
Chicago, Illinois
IT engineer, about large file to upload: It was big, that's why it took so long to get it up.
IT desktop deck: Hahahaha.
IT manager: I'll leave you two alone.
The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia
Tech looking for stylus: Have you seen my pokey thing?
Boss: Not even in prison did I see the pokey thing.
Midwest
Production manager, loudly, to graphic artist nearby: Michael! You are just whipping it out today!
Van Nuys, California
Overheard by: Just walking on by
Boss man: There's a men's bathroom and a women's bathroom. I don't want to see anyone using the women's bathroom… Use the men's room.
Worker: You talking to me? Are you saying I use the women's room? I don't! Who told you that?
Boss man: I don't know who it is. I don't care. Just use the men's bathroom.
Worker: Is it me? Cuz you're looking at me.
Boss man: Fine, it's you. Don't use the women's bathroom.
Worker: Who told you I was using the women's bathroom? I don't use the women's bathroom.
Boss man: I didn't say it was you, but if you think it was you, it was you. Don't use the womens bathroom.
Newark, New Jersey
Salesman to manager: One of my customers is looking for prices on a laptop.
Manager: Okay, what is he looking for?
Salesman: A laptop.
Manager: Yes, but what is he looking for? I can get him a piece of crap for next to nothing, or a real expensive one. What is he looking for? What specifications and size is he looking for, and what extras?
Salesman: Okay, I'll find out.
(three minutes later, after phoning customer)
Salesman: He is looking for one, the size of an adult male's hands placed next to each other.
Pretoria
South Africa
