Manager: Your boyfriend looks like a terrorist.
Peon, farting: My butthole is the terrorist in this office.
12th Street NW
Washington, DC
Manager: Your boyfriend looks like a terrorist.
Peon, farting: My butthole is the terrorist in this office.
12th Street NW
Washington, DC
Boss to underling: Ants so big they could stand flat-footed and fuck a turkey…
Dayton, Ohio
Leader to team gathered in a circle: But if everything worked, then we wouldn't have a job. So that's our approach.
Watertown, Massachusetts
Boss: Did you find that receipt?
Underling: No, it’s not in the receipt file. I checked every receipt for the last six months. It’s not there.
Boss: Why don’t you look again?
Underling: I knew you’d ask, so I looked twice already. It’s not there. Is there somewhere else that you put receipts?
Boss: No, only the receipt file. But if it’s not in there, it’s not a big deal. Later today, if you have time, why don’t you look again in the file?
Underling: Okay, but if it’s not there now, it won’t be there later.
Boss: Yeah okay, but why don’t you just look again?
1028 East Private Road 1200 North
Farmersburg, Indiana
Director of tech support, in heavy French accent: Busy week, yes. I have had to beat off many clients.
Tech dude: Wait, what?
Director: Oh, yeah. At least 30.
Tech support conference call
California
Boss to underling: Warren Buffet didn't get rich being a bitch.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Receptionist: I just can’t get the song from Pinocchio out of my head.
Marketing director: Funny what pops into your head on the first round.
Receptionist, singing: I’ve got no strings to hold me back…
Marketing director: Later on, when we’re drinking, I’ll tell you about the midgets.
City Center Building
Bellevue, Washington
Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)
Los Angeles, California
IT guy: So you don’t want everyone to have access?
Boss: I just don’t want anyone to be able to type slash, back colon, or whatever, and the system goes for a shite.
IT guy: Ya.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Define Back Colon
Employee: I just flew in from Spain yesterday, I’m totally jetlagged.
Department head: Spain? Is that in a different time zone?
4220 N. St. Louis Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
