Boss: We have to move out of the conference room because the student is deaf and the piano lesson in the room above is so loud.
Underling: Wait… If the student is deaf why does it matter that the piano is loud?
Boss: I can't deal with this right now.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: i choose to not hear you
Employee #1 to boss: Oh, what the fuck?! It smells like shit up there!
Boss, laughing: You farted!
Employee #1: No, I did not!
Employee #2: Duuude! Some kid just shit on the carpet!
Boss: No! Shut the fuck up!
Employee #1: Oh, come on! Two months ago some kid pissed on the carpet, and now we got some fucker who shit on the carpet?!
Employee #1: He really shat?
Employee #2: He had diarrhea or something.
Los Angeles, California
Employee: Mondays come way too often.
Supervisor: Yes, once a week.
4708 Lacey Bpulevard SE
Lacey, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
IT manager: Sometimes when I’m down and nothing makes any sense, I just pretend I work for Emeril Lagasse.
West Village
New York, New York
Office wench: I ordered those things you wanted!
Boss: Did you?
Office wench: I think…
Boss: Thanks.
513 Progress Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: cubical dweller
Peon: I am stealing this.
CEO: Why?
Peon: Because I have to send it somewhere and you stole it when you went on one of your frenzies and now that you are calm I am sending it away.
CEO: But why did I go off?
Peon: Like I ever know why you go off. It is just something you do. I just wait until it passes and do what should have been done before. It is just the way it works.
407 East Gude Drive
Rockville, Maryland
Male employee to boss: Your stupidity offends me!
Anacortes, Washington
Overheard by: Offended by his stupidity
Employee to boss: Hey I know it’s the end of the day on Friday, but I’m really bored, do you have anything for me to do?
Boss: Oh! Here have some bubblewrap!
137 4th Ave
Edmonton Alabama
Office Manager: He handed her a paper or something. No, not a paper. It was something concrete, like a pen.
9130 South Dadeland Boulevard
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Lady Luscious
Boss to office employees, about receptionist: We're gonna need Jennifer to start wearing provocative clothing to get some customers in here!
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: Sure, I'll slut it up for you a bit…
