Bosses and Underlings

2PM Get Receipts to Billing

Boss: Did you find that receipt?
Underling: No, it’s not in the receipt file. I checked every receipt for the last six months. It’s not there.
Boss: Why don’t you look again?
Underling: I knew you’d ask, so I looked twice already. It’s not there. Is there somewhere else that you put receipts?
Boss: No, only the receipt file. But if it’s not in there, it’s not a big deal. Later today, if you have time, why don’t you look again in the file?
Underling: Okay, but if it’s not there now, it won’t be there later.
Boss: Yeah okay, but why don’t you just look again?

1028 East Private Road 1200 North
Farmersburg, Indiana

Just Look at These Blisters!

Director of tech support, in heavy French accent: Busy week, yes. I have had to beat off many clients.
Tech dude: Wait, what?
Director: Oh, yeah. At least 30.

Tech support conference call
California

He's Got 99 Problems, but That Ain't One

Boss to underling: Warren Buffet didn't get rich being a bitch.

Raleigh, North Carolina

Why People Join AA

Receptionist: I just can’t get the song from Pinocchio out of my head.
Marketing director: Funny what pops into your head on the first round.
Receptionist, singing: I’ve got no strings to hold me back…
Marketing director: Later on, when we’re drinking, I’ll tell you about the midgets.

City Center Building
Bellevue, Washington

Oh, What the Hell

Boss: If it weren't inappropriate and illegal, I would hug and kiss you right now.
Assistant: (awkward laugh)

Los Angeles, California

Well, Sir, That’s Really What the Back Colon Is For

IT guy: So you don’t want everyone to have access?
Boss: I just don’t want anyone to be able to type slash, back colon, or whatever, and the system goes for a shite.
IT guy: Ya.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Define Back Colon

Same Time Zone, Way Different Area Code

Employee: I just flew in from Spain yesterday, I’m totally jetlagged.
Department head: Spain? Is that in a different time zone?

4220 N. St. Louis Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

12PM Catch Up on Paperwork

Service Manager: Really, you have to stop bring these back to me.
Office chick: No, you just need to do them right in the first place.

215 US Route 1
Falmouth, Maine

3PM Sensitivity Training

Office Manager: There’s a time and a place for shoulder massages and it’s not here and now.
Employee: It’s not a massage. I was rubbing my hands up her.

Aldine House, New Bailey Street
Salford, Manchester
UK

12PM Project Meeting

Employee: I figured out a good way to make our guests happy.
Manager: How’s that?
Employee: Remorseless lying.

1939 Dixie Highway
Fort Wright, Kentucky

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