IT manager: Sometimes when I’m down and nothing makes any sense, I just pretend I work for Emeril Lagasse.
West Village
New York, New York
IT manager: Sometimes when I’m down and nothing makes any sense, I just pretend I work for Emeril Lagasse.
West Village
New York, New York
Office wench: I ordered those things you wanted!
Boss: Did you?
Office wench: I think…
Boss: Thanks.
513 Progress Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: cubical dweller
Peon: I am stealing this.
CEO: Why?
Peon: Because I have to send it somewhere and you stole it when you went on one of your frenzies and now that you are calm I am sending it away.
CEO: But why did I go off?
Peon: Like I ever know why you go off. It is just something you do. I just wait until it passes and do what should have been done before. It is just the way it works.
407 East Gude Drive
Rockville, Maryland
Male employee to boss: Your stupidity offends me!
Anacortes, Washington
Overheard by: Offended by his stupidity
Employee to boss: Hey I know it’s the end of the day on Friday, but I’m really bored, do you have anything for me to do?
Boss: Oh! Here have some bubblewrap!
137 4th Ave
Edmonton Alabama
Office Manager: He handed her a paper or something. No, not a paper. It was something concrete, like a pen.
9130 South Dadeland Boulevard
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Lady Luscious
Boss to office employees, about receptionist: We're gonna need Jennifer to start wearing provocative clothing to get some customers in here!
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: Sure, I'll slut it up for you a bit…
Manager: Your boyfriend looks like a terrorist.
Peon, farting: My butthole is the terrorist in this office.
12th Street NW
Washington, DC
Boss to underling: Ants so big they could stand flat-footed and fuck a turkey…
Dayton, Ohio
Leader to team gathered in a circle: But if everything worked, then we wouldn't have a job. So that's our approach.
Watertown, Massachusetts
