Research supervisor on phone: So, question — monkeys. Apparently one got a rash during the drug trial, but no one noticed because she was really hairy. Yeah, really, really hairy. She’s a hairy monkey. What do you know about that?
West Point, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alison
Boss: Hey, are you working hard…?
Employee: Or hardly working? Wait… I mean, “yes, I'm working hard.”
Cleveland, Ohio
Senior biologist: Don’t have them call me with any technical questions. Have them call Jack* in Municipal.
Redneck engineer: Ya ever tie two cats together by the tail and throw them over a clothesline?
Senior biologist: What?!
Engineering Firm
New Cumberland, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: intern liberal biologist
Co-worker #1: I don’t really like music.
Co-worker #2: Oh, yeah?
Co-worker #1: I think there are only 200 good songs in the history of the world.
Co-worker #2: And the rest are crap?
Co-worker #1: Well…they are no good. I have downloaded 130 of the 200 from the net, but the others are too hard to find.
Co-worker #2: Ohhhhkay.
2300 Prospect Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Peon: [Katie] said I’d be fired because of my hair.
VP: I don’t fire people for having stupid hair.
500 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: TC Ledger
Phone monkey to supervisor getting beer out of bag: So, can I drink this at my desk or do I have to go outside?
Government Call Centre
Canberra
Australia
Boss: Have you fixed that invoice?
Minion: Yeah! It was totally magical — Mary* thinks I’m awesome, and she’s going to do some stuff in the system and the invoice will be fixed!
Boss: So, we’re getting paid?
Minion: Yeah! Magical Mary will fix it, I’ll send it out, and we’ll get paid! Hooray for everyone!
200 Harry S. Truman Parkway
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Rica
Boss: I smell fart.
Male coworker: Yeah, I smell fart.
Female coworker: It smells like fart.
Male coworker: Did you fart?
Boss: Did you fart?
Female coworker: No. I would fart but that one wasn’t mine.
8531 Olive Blvd
St Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: The Girl
Peon in meeting, after VP has announced new sales pitch: So we're basically ripping off customers.
(sudden group silence)
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Go!
Boss: Stop communicating!
Underling (sheepishly): Sorry.
New York
