Boss: So do you think I should get 3 pies for the meeting since we have 30 people?
Worker Bee #1: Sure, 3 pies should be enough.
Worker Bee #2: I think you need more than 3.
Worker Bee #1: How many do you think we should get?
Worker Bee #2: We need 3.14159 pi.
Boss: Get out of my office. Now.
1010 Second Avenue
San Diego, California
Peon to boss looking for the bigger boss: He is not there. He is murdering Mike*.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: has a will
Boss: Why would I pay to watch you take a shower?
Underling: Lots of people pay for it.
Boss: How much would you charge me?
Underling: I don't know, I'm Asian, so I can offer other amenities.
Atlanta, Georgia
Salesman: I’m just trying to help you! Every time I see you you’re eating.
Purchasing manager, mouth full of cookies: Every time I see you you’re ugly.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
Manager to peon: I'm so confused, maybe if I start smoking dope again things will make sense.
Washington
Office manager to female employee: I have been told that when you are in the office, the women's bathroom goes though massive amounts of toilet paper.
Female employee: I don't have to talk to you about that, that's bowel harassment!
Louisville, Kentucky
Secretary: Your forehead is looking good today.
Boss: Yeah, the hole is still there but at least the scab is gone.
810 Highway 6 South
Houston, Texas
Cube dweller: Wow, look what I learned today!
Senior VP: What?
Cube dweller: I made a pulldown list in Excel!
Senior VP: So you have a lot of free time?…If you have free time, you need to see me right away. I told you I have projects for you.
101 California Street
San Francisco, California
Boss: Did you hear what Gwyneth Paltrow named her new baby?
Peon: Yeah, Moses. That’s old news.
Boss: I wonder what she’ll name the next one.
Peon: Well, it looks like she’s going in order from the Bible. It’ll probably be Caleb or Joshua.
Boss: You sure know a lot about the Bible for someone who’s not religious.
Peon: I worked in a church for two years, it’s hard not to pick something up.
Boss: Oh yeah? My mother’s worked in a church for twenty years, and the only thing she’s picked up is drinking.
800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: jearu
Boss: We never decided to postpone this issue. We just agreed that we would deal with other issues first.
Brouwersvliet, Antwerp, Belgium
