Worker: Can you review this for me?
Manager: Why are you asking me all the time?
Worker: Because you’re my team leader.
Manager: There are no team leaders anymore.
Worker: What? Yes, there are.
Manager: No, there aren’t.
Worker: Well, I asked [Jesse] yesterday, and he said he couldn’t do it because he wasn’t my team leader. Why would he say that if there aren’t team leaders anymore?
Manager: Because he didn’t want to do your review.
137 Iroquois Avenue
Essex Junction, Vermont
Employee: How long do I have to work here before I receive health
insurance?
Boss: Oh…Um…We don’t do that here. I know some hospitals that
won’t report you to the credit bureaus, though.
1101 Robin Hill Lane
Bel Air, Maryland
Boss: Did you have a computer ethics class in college?
Programmer: [Scoffs] There is no ethics, it’s a computer.
10 Salt Creek Lane
Hinsdale, Illinois
Overheard by: Bill Dwyer
Office worker: I need to talk to you about this report you mentioned.
Manager: No, we can’t talk about this now, not till tomorrow.
Office worker: Yes, but it’s due tomorr–
Manager: No, no, no! Now is not the time to talk about it. Tomorrow is.
Office worker: But–
Manager: Tomorrow. Goodbye.
39 Murray Street
Hobart, Tasmania
Australia
Senior VP to peons: That's when they car was stoled. It's they fault. They leff the car in the ignition. Then they wonder why we callin them and taken all they danglin fruit off the tabow. You see what I'm sayin, people? That's us! We taken it off the table.
BAton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Redacted
Boss to others, while riding to lunch: You don't want to eat at Infinity, the only thing on the menu there is penis.
Pittsbrurgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Brad
Male employer: You shaved this morning!
Male employee: Your hands are cold!
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Way Too Early in the Morning
Employee, gasping: It’s that huge?
Supervisor: Yeah… But once you add water, it comes right off.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Director: I have you down for 8AM.
Analyst: I can’t at that time. I have to drop off my son at day care.
Director: That’s okay, I’ll do you later.
4302 Town Center Boulevard
El Dorado Hills, California
Art Director: What did you mean when you said that HR is going to work differently?
Exec: Oh, it’s going to work now.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
