Police sergeant: Have you done those sexual child abuse talks at the school yet?
Civilian employee: Yes, and several of the children need to file a report.
Police sergeant: Great! Now we have more work. Whose idea was it to do those talks?
8620 California Avenue
South Gate, California
Serious boss: Tom*, we need to discuss the appropriate use of inflatable novelties at the beach.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Last day at work
Director: For your baby shower, are people buying pink or blue?
VP: Blue. Doctor says there’s a 50% chance it will be a boy.
San Fernando Boulevard
San Jose, California
Coworker: There is a really neat installation art center in Omaha.
Boss: What city in Omaha?
Coworker: Uh… Omaha.
Boss: Right, but what city?
Coworker: [Long pause] Hard to say.
Woodhaven, New York
Middle-aged manager: Whoa! You're new here!
Young female temp (making copies): Yeah, I just started on Monday, I'm a temp.
Middle-aged manager: Has anyone shown you the dead bodies yet?
Young female temp: Uh, no.
Middle-aged manager: Once the temps realize what creeps we are, they kill us.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: a temp
Manager: When you’re finished with the accessibility development for the hotels path, start on rental cars site.
Programmer: Um…accessibility…for rental cars?
Manager: Yes.
Programmer: So, we want to make it easier for the blind to rent cars?
Manager: Yeah…I know.
800 Connecticut Avenue
Norwalk, Connecticut
50-something man: Well, I have to tell you: for a woman in her 50s, you still look great.
50-something woman, flattered: Yeah?
50-something man: Oh, yeah. If we weren't both married, and you didn't work for me, I'd definitely try to nail ya.
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Employee: A customer wants to know if she can have a custom doorhanger.
Manager: She can have her slits and holes wherever she wants them.
5409 N. Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Julia Westenzweig
Supervisor: What are you doing?
College kid #1: Spraying each other.
Supervisor: Do you know what is in those bottles?
College kid #2: No.
Supervisor: Why would you spray each other with something you don’t know?
College kid #2: It’s fun.
Supervisor: It’s acetone!
College kid #1: Is that like water or something?
Supervisor: God, I’m going back to my office.
465 Paul Road
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Nick I
Boss: (reaches for candy from office candy jar)
Subordinate: Don't eat the chocolate bunny candies, those things are creepy.
Boss: I've put weirder things in my mouth.
Manhattan, New York
