Office dictator: Folks, I just met with the budget people, and we really need to adhere to our T&A until the end of the year.
Peon: Um, do you mean T&E?
Windward Parkway
Alpharetta, Georgia
Office dictator: Folks, I just met with the budget people, and we really need to adhere to our T&A until the end of the year.
Peon: Um, do you mean T&E?
Windward Parkway
Alpharetta, Georgia
Secretary: What does it do when it archeeves my email?
Boss: Are you serious?
Secretary: I mean, where does it go after it’s done archeeving?
Boss: Oh god.
5353 McCurry Road
Roscoe, Illinois
Boss: So that fax machine is jamming again? I thought the repairman was just in here fixing it? What did he say?
Employee: No, it was that one that he fixed. You switched the faxes, right? So the good one is up here and the bad one is in the back?
Boss: No. I told you this morning that I wasn’t going to do that because your mom was coming in to fax tomorrow so we might as well just get the bad one fixed.
Employee: Who were you talking to? The repair guy? Are you sure you were talking to me?
Boss: No, I was talking to the post.
18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey
Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!
Boss: Yeah, I have to have another colonoscopy in a couple months.
Employee: That sounds unpleasant.
Boss: Mmm-hm — colonoscopy, the ultimate home movie.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
VP: So are you ready to service me yet?
Peon: Yes, I am ready to pleasure you now.
VP: Sounds good; is [Alex] ready too?
[Alex]: Yes, m’lady, I too am ready to provide you my services.
VP: Let’s go get started in the blue room, then.
8441 Wayzata Boulevard
Golden Valley, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sam Racadabra
Employee: Nice skirt, boss!
Boss: I'm wearing pants.
Anchorage, Alaska
Police sergeant: Have you done those sexual child abuse talks at the school yet?
Civilian employee: Yes, and several of the children need to file a report.
Police sergeant: Great! Now we have more work. Whose idea was it to do those talks?
8620 California Avenue
South Gate, California
Serious boss: Tom*, we need to discuss the appropriate use of inflatable novelties at the beach.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Last day at work
Director: For your baby shower, are people buying pink or blue?
VP: Blue. Doctor says there’s a 50% chance it will be a boy.
San Fernando Boulevard
San Jose, California
Coworker: There is a really neat installation art center in Omaha.
Boss: What city in Omaha?
Coworker: Uh… Omaha.
Boss: Right, but what city?
Coworker: [Long pause] Hard to say.
Woodhaven, New York
