Bosses and Underlings

4PM Buy New Fax

Boss: So that fax machine is jamming again? I thought the repairman was just in here fixing it? What did he say?
Employee: No, it was that one that he fixed. You switched the faxes, right? So the good one is up here and the bad one is in the back?
Boss: No. I told you this morning that I wasn’t going to do that because your mom was coming in to fax tomorrow so we might as well just get the bad one fixed.
Employee: Who were you talking to? The repair guy? Are you sure you were talking to me?
Boss: No, I was talking to the post.

18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!

Working Title: Robbing Peter to Pay Polyp

Boss: Yeah, I have to have another colonoscopy in a couple months.
Employee: That sounds unpleasant.
Boss: Mmm-hm — colonoscopy, the ultimate home movie.

Tysons Corner, Virginia

2PM Double Team Meeting

VP: So are you ready to service me yet?
Peon: Yes, I am ready to pleasure you now.
VP: Sounds good; is [Alex] ready too?
[Alex]: Yes, m’lady, I too am ready to provide you my services.
VP: Let’s go get started in the blue room, then.

8441 Wayzata Boulevard
Golden Valley, Minnesota

Overheard by: Sam Racadabra

I Was Talking to Bruce Springsteen

Employee: Nice skirt, boss!
Boss: I'm wearing pants.

Anchorage, Alaska

4PM Filing Frenzy

Police sergeant: Have you done those sexual child abuse talks at the school yet?
Civilian employee: Yes, and several of the children need to file a report.
Police sergeant: Great! Now we have more work. Whose idea was it to do those talks?

8620 California Avenue
South Gate, California

Your Date's Slow Leak Shocked and Saddened Us All

Serious boss: Tom*, we need to discuss the appropriate use of inflatable novelties at the beach.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Last day at work

But a 99% Chance It Will Be Stupid

Director: For your baby shower, are people buying pink or blue?
VP: Blue. Doctor says there’s a 50% chance it will be a boy.

San Fernando Boulevard
San Jose, California

You Mean Its Public Face or Its Seamy Underbelly?

Coworker: There is a really neat installation art center in Omaha.
Boss: What city in Omaha?
Coworker: Uh… Omaha.
Boss: Right, but what city?
Coworker: [Long pause] Hard to say.

Woodhaven, New York

Forcing Us to Hire More Temps

Middle-aged manager: Whoa! You're new here!
Young female temp (making copies): Yeah, I just started on Monday, I'm a temp.
Middle-aged manager: Has anyone shown you the dead bodies yet?
Young female temp: Uh, no.
Middle-aged manager: Once the temps realize what creeps we are, they kill us.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: a temp

2PM Update Site

Manager: When you’re finished with the accessibility development for the hotels path, start on rental cars site.
Programmer: Um…accessibility…for rental cars?
Manager: Yes.
Programmer: So, we want to make it easier for the blind to rent cars?
Manager: Yeah…I know.

800 Connecticut Avenue
Norwalk, Connecticut

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