Lawyer: Ben*, if I e-mail you something, can you figure out how to print it on legal-size paper?
Paralegal: Ummm, sure. [Later brings back printed text.]Lawyer: Oh, great! You know, you have a future as a printer!
575 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Assistant: Are you going to be in next week?
VP: Yes, unless al-Qaeda does something.
1120 20th Street NW
Washington, DC
Supervisor: Did someone order colored pencils from the office supply place?
Assistant: I’m thinking of becoming a caricaturist.
330 Madison Ave
New York City
Jewish manager: I got your e-mail about XYZ Spring Company* not being able to make that spring.
Office girl: Yeah, those dirty– Ugh!
Jewish manager: It’s okay, it’s okay!
Office girl: They just keep quoting stuff, and when I give them an order they decide they can’t do it because they are little pieces–! Ugh! Never mind!
Jewish manager: Are you okay?
Office girl: Yeah… I’m just trying to be Christian today.
Jewish manager: … Good for you. [Walks away.]Office girl, from a distance: I need to say more things in my head. I think I’m fired now.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Newlywed coworker: I am all about leather.
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Female manager to frustrated sales rep: Just put your big girl panties on and deal with it!
Business owner, over her shoulder: Oh, oh! Stern words from Miss Kello-Kitty-pants!
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Co-worker: This thing might fall on my head.
VP: Well, just hope that doesn’t happen, then.
Co-worker: It’s better than you falling on my head.
VP: No thanks, you aren’t my type.
4925 Main Street
Buffalo, New York
Manager: I can’t do that to the client! Don’t you see the cart before the horse here? It’s chicken and egg!
VP: Yeah, but if you wanna run with the wolves–
Manager: –It’s lying down with dogs and getting up with fleas!
VP: Yeah, I see your point…
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Boss to underling: We'll see it harden up when people use it.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Worker: I ordered the 7 inch folders.
Boss: We don’t need 7 inches; that’s big.
Worker: 7 inches isn’t big at all, it’s really small.
975 Merriam Avenue
Leominster, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Crystal Geslak
