Manager: We really need to work on proper pronunciation on the phones. We really hear a lot of this, and it definitely needs to be improved. For instance: How do you say a-s-k? Anyone? (pause) You say “ask” not “axed”!
Employee: Well, who say dat?
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: office grunt #12
Boss to underling: We got a letter back from the IRS. It's about the faggiest letter you can possibly conceive of. I'm going to read it to you now..
Manhattan, New York
VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: debragail
Co-worker #1: Hey, do we need to dress up when the Japs show up next week?
Boss: Don’t ever refer to them as Japs! That’s racist and very offensive. Please refer to them as Japanese instead.
Co-worker #2: Hey, while we’re being all culturally sensitive and shit, can I show up to work dressed as a ninja to welcome them to America?
115 Perimeter Center Place, NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Lawyer: Ben*, if I e-mail you something, can you figure out how to print it on legal-size paper?
Paralegal: Ummm, sure. [Later brings back printed text.]Lawyer: Oh, great! You know, you have a future as a printer!
575 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Assistant: Are you going to be in next week?
VP: Yes, unless al-Qaeda does something.
1120 20th Street NW
Washington, DC
Supervisor: Did someone order colored pencils from the office supply place?
Assistant: I’m thinking of becoming a caricaturist.
330 Madison Ave
New York City
Jewish manager: I got your e-mail about XYZ Spring Company* not being able to make that spring.
Office girl: Yeah, those dirty– Ugh!
Jewish manager: It’s okay, it’s okay!
Office girl: They just keep quoting stuff, and when I give them an order they decide they can’t do it because they are little pieces–! Ugh! Never mind!
Jewish manager: Are you okay?
Office girl: Yeah… I’m just trying to be Christian today.
Jewish manager: … Good for you. [Walks away.]Office girl, from a distance: I need to say more things in my head. I think I’m fired now.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Newlywed coworker: I am all about leather.
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Female manager to frustrated sales rep: Just put your big girl panties on and deal with it!
Business owner, over her shoulder: Oh, oh! Stern words from Miss Kello-Kitty-pants!
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
