Law Firm Partner: How do you log on to our website?
Secretary: We don’t have a website.
Law Firm Partner: Can make one up real quick? There’s a girl who’s trying to sell us a website and I told her we already have one.
329 18th Street
Rock Island, Illinois
Manager: Did you get a response back from that email you sent to the buyer yet?
Co-worker: No; I didn’t ask her for one. She knew what action I took and if she didn’t agree with me, she can call me.
Manager: No, no. You should always include “please advise” in the email, in case they don’t receive the email.
8000 Bent Branch Drive
Irving, Texas
Boss: You're not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
Regional director to underling: I can almost see up your ass and read your mind.
Underling: I don’t know what to do with that.
Midway Road
Addison, Texas
Overheard by: covering my ass from now on
Oblivious female boss flipping through magazine: Oooh, pooter! I love pooter.
Startled worker: What?!
Oblivious female boss: Look — pooter letter openers!
Startled worker: Um, that word is actually pronounced ‘pewter.’ [Under his breath] Christ.
6101 O’Connell Avenue
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Manager: B.O.T.A. It's an anagram. Do you know what it stands for? “Bend over and take it up the ass.”
Employee: That's an acronym, not an anagram.
Manager: What? I didn't say acronym.
Oneonta, New York
Supervisor: You guys are just like my family!
Office peon: Yeah, except we don’t throw your shit in the river.
Academy Street
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Dude
Supervisor: Don’t worry, [the new procedure] is not that confusing.
Employee: I’m not confused, I always look like this.
202 C Street
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Emery Ann Harris
Sales guy, about customer: She’s an idiot.
Customer service manager: Awesome!
4755 Walnut Street
Boulder, Colorado
Female boss to male underling, about predicted upcoming snow storm: Tell me how many inches it is and then I'll decide if I have to be afraid of it!
Felton, Delaware
