Bosses and Underlings

Supervisor: You guys are just like my family!
Office peon: Yeah, except we don’t throw your shit in the river.

Academy Street
Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Dude

Supervisor: Don’t worry, [the new procedure] is not that confusing.
Employee: I’m not confused, I always look like this.

202 C Street
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Emery Ann Harris

Sales guy, about customer: She’s an idiot.
Customer service manager: Awesome!

4755 Walnut Street
Boulder, Colorado

Female boss to male underling, about predicted upcoming snow storm: Tell me how many inches it is and then I'll decide if I have to be afraid of it!

Felton, Delaware

Manager: We really need to work on proper pronunciation on the phones. We really hear a lot of this, and it definitely needs to be improved. For instance: How do you say a-s-k? Anyone? (pause) You say “ask” not “axed”!
Employee: Well, who say dat?

Wayne, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: office grunt #12

Boss to underling: We got a letter back from the IRS. It's about the faggiest letter you can possibly conceive of. I'm going to read it to you now..

Manhattan, New York

VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: debragail

Co-worker #1: Hey, do we need to dress up when the Japs show up next week?
Boss: Don’t ever refer to them as Japs! That’s racist and very offensive. Please refer to them as Japanese instead.
Co-worker #2: Hey, while we’re being all culturally sensitive and shit, can I show up to work dressed as a ninja to welcome them to America?

115 Perimeter Center Place, NE
Atlanta, Georgia

Lawyer: Ben*, if I e-mail you something, can you figure out how to print it on legal-size paper?
Paralegal: Ummm, sure. [Later brings back printed text.]Lawyer: Oh, great! You know, you have a future as a printer!

575 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York

Assistant: Are you going to be in next week?
VP: Yes, unless al-Qaeda does something.

1120 20th Street NW
Washington, DC