Girl: Yeah, he thought you meant that I was gonna make cheese from my breast milk, you know, to save money…
Boss: That’s not what I meant.
Girl: I know!
Texas
Overheard by: the lowly receptionist
Girl: Yeah, he thought you meant that I was gonna make cheese from my breast milk, you know, to save money…
Boss: That’s not what I meant.
Girl: I know!
Texas
Overheard by: the lowly receptionist
Bridal manager to front desk receptionist: Yes, I understand it’s difficult to be yelled at by 30 consultants, but let’s think back to last year after you were almost killed in that car accident — wouldn’t you have been lucky to be yelled at by just two consultants?
Bridal store
New York, New York
Quality manager: If I told you what I know…
Salesman: You’d have to kill Charles*?
Quality manager: No… That’s not a bad idea, though.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
Office worker: Hey, do you have a yard stick?
Supervisor: No, but I have a riding crop.
Human Services Building, Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1, distraught: I’m leaving now. I probably won’t be back till tomorrow.
Clueless manager: Okay, have fun! [Distraught coworker sobs and runs out.]Coworker #2: Um… You know she’s having her dog put to sleep, right?
111 Madisonville Street
Crofton, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Employee: Did you hear, there was another bombing on the subway in London?
Boss: I don’t care how balmy it is in London, I wouldn’t go over there right now.
217 10th Street
Brandon, Manitoba
Canadia
Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.
Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: get back to work!
Manager: Why do they send so much of this stock? It’s never gonna sell. What bunch of arseholes thought this up at head office?
Peon: This is really getting to you, isn’t it? I get the feeling you applied for a job there, and they turned you down.
Manager: A job at head office? No thanks, I’ve no desire to be an arsehole for a living.
Peon: But you’d be so good at it.
4 The Sidings
Lincoln, United Kingdom
30-year old accounting manager to 23-year old employee: So, my mom has a crush on you after seeing your picture on my Facebook profile.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Cougar Bait
Boss to underling: I'd better go take my banana skin elsewhere.
Bakersfield, California
