Boss: We should become alcoholics. That would make work so much easier.
Employee: That bottle of Bailey’s in my filing cabinet only lasted me a week and a half.
Boss: You had Bailey’s?
Employee: Ummm, no.
Lake Shore Drive
Columbus, Ohio
Boss: We should become alcoholics. That would make work so much easier.
Employee: That bottle of Bailey’s in my filing cabinet only lasted me a week and a half.
Boss: You had Bailey’s?
Employee: Ummm, no.
Lake Shore Drive
Columbus, Ohio
Older boss: Healthcare needs competition to remain good. Just look at Lasik and boob jobs! Because those are paid for privately, they are affordable and high quality.
20-something underling: How would you know about the quality of boob jobs?
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Will
Employee (during global teleconference with CEO): I don't have a question, but I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to work here. Although I am deaf, it hasn't stopped me from having a chance of proving myself.
CEO: I appreciate your comment. That is a subject that is near and dear to my heart, since I have a son who is deaf.
Employee: What?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Snickering
Boss to notoriously unreliable person: Jane, are you writing this down?
Jane: Yes, I am writing this down… in my mind.
Seward, Nebraska
Girl: Yeah, he thought you meant that I was gonna make cheese from my breast milk, you know, to save money…
Boss: That’s not what I meant.
Girl: I know!
Texas
Overheard by: the lowly receptionist
Bridal manager to front desk receptionist: Yes, I understand it’s difficult to be yelled at by 30 consultants, but let’s think back to last year after you were almost killed in that car accident — wouldn’t you have been lucky to be yelled at by just two consultants?
Bridal store
New York, New York
Quality manager: If I told you what I know…
Salesman: You’d have to kill Charles*?
Quality manager: No… That’s not a bad idea, though.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
Office worker: Hey, do you have a yard stick?
Supervisor: No, but I have a riding crop.
Human Services Building, Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1, distraught: I’m leaving now. I probably won’t be back till tomorrow.
Clueless manager: Okay, have fun! [Distraught coworker sobs and runs out.]Coworker #2: Um… You know she’s having her dog put to sleep, right?
111 Madisonville Street
Crofton, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Employee: Did you hear, there was another bombing on the subway in London?
Boss: I don’t care how balmy it is in London, I wouldn’t go over there right now.
217 10th Street
Brandon, Manitoba
Canadia
