Supervisor: Today is my older son's birthday. He's 12 now.
Underling: Uh-oh. He's a tween!
Supervisor: Yeah, he's feeling himself.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: hopefully not at school
Supervisor: Today is my older son's birthday. He's 12 now.
Underling: Uh-oh. He's a tween!
Supervisor: Yeah, he's feeling himself.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: hopefully not at school
Boss: I thought you were a vegetarian.
Employee: That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kick a possum!
1550 Timothy Road
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Travis Roberts
Boss lady: I think Rick* was talking to people in our aisle for a record 52 minutes. He’s finally gone.
Assistant: Don’t worry. He’ll be back. Like herpes and the Terminator.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Assistant: I don’t know if you want to give him a call or not.
Boss #1: What happened?
Assistant: He mouthed off to a cop.
Boss #1: Sounds like Eric*.
Boss #2: Eric didn’t mouth off to a cop.
Boss #1: I thought he did.
Boss #2: No, he ran over a cop. There’s a big difference between running a cop over and mouthing off to one.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: can’t make it up
Secretary: [The client] keeps calling and asking for me. And you know what? The next time he does that, I’m going to tell him that you lied to him.
Boss: What? Why?
Secretaty: Because you tell him you’re going to do all these things for him, and you don’t!
Boss: That’s because he’s an idiot!
527 West Jefferson Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Sales manager: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill everything out beforehand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped overseas?
Sales manager: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that overseas?
Sales manager: It's in the Middle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales manager: No, the Middle East! It's international.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not international.
Sales manager: I'll just do it myself.
Louisville, Kentucky
Head honcho: We should get on a pooping schedule!
Unidentified underling: (laughs nervously)
Head honcho: It's time for you to poop!
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: What's My Pee Telling Me?
Attorney: Oh, god, not her. She is an insufferable hag. Tell her I’m not in the office.
Temp on phone: I’m sorry, ma’am, he’s out of the office… Well, I apologize, but he’s not here right now… Yes, I’m aware that lying to another attorney is unethical… Ma’am, you did not hear his voice in the background… No, I’m telling you, he’s not here… Well, how do you know that was his voice? Couldn’t it have been an intern or another attorney? … Well if it sounded like him, who’s to say his son isn’t visiting today and that’s whose voice you heard? Yes, I’ll give him the message. Thank you.
Attorney: So… Have you considered law school?
Long Island law firm
Long Island, New York
Underling #1: Am I fired?
Boss: No, ’cause then we’d have to hire her, and she’s only part time.
Underling #2: Me?
Underling #1: She wouldn’t take the job.
Boss: Yes, because she’s smarter than you.
334 East 14th Street
New York, New York
Assistant: Did you know that dogs get breast cancer?
Supervisor: What?
Assistant: I used to work at a vet office, and they would bring in dogs with breast cancer!
Supervisor, after googling it: Yeah, I guess they do!
Assistant: Oh, really?! I made that up!
Supervisor: I'm done with you.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Digitdy
