If Only He Wouldn’t Make Major Adjustments in My Face

Foxy lady #1: My boss smells like he hasn’t bathed in a month. He smells like his private parts!
Foxy lady #2: Gross like a huge unbathed dick.
Foxy lady #1: Yeah.

The Bronx
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Banana Forest Thief

Posted on September 5, 2021
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Health & Hygiene, New York, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

4PM Orientation Meeting

Manager #1: He is just here to put out the fires that get lit under my ass.
Manager #2: Basically I’m the ass guard. I provide ass protection.

400 East 11th Street
Chattanooga, Tennessee

Posted on August 30, 2021
Body Parts, Bosses, Tennessee, Words

We All Had Appetites, but You Rectum

Postal employee: I'm about ready to eat the butthole of a cow.

Post Office
Michigan

Posted on August 24, 2021
Animals, Body Parts, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, Weirdness

Does He Really Want to Marry Someone Who Doesn’t Drink?

Tech #1: So, my friend is going to ask his girlfriend to marry him, and he wants to secretly get her ring size.
Tech #2: Measure her finger while she’s asleep.
Tech #1: What if she doesn’t sleep very soundly? What if she wakes up and is like, ‘What’s this thing on my finger?’
Tech #2: Get her really hammered.
Tech #1: She doesn’t really drink…
Tech #3: Then just hammer her!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: only girl in the office

Posted on August 11, 2021
Advice, Body Parts, Michigan, Relationships, Substance Use & Abuse, Tech People, Words

Happens to Every Guy at Some Point

Lowly finance clerk to director: What'd you lose?
Director: The eyeball from my carrot.

Nunavut
Canada

Overheard by: Finance Officer #3

Posted on August 8, 2021
Animals, Body Parts, Bosses, Canadia, Financial Folk, Questions, Weirdness

You Know Those Guys Whose Signal Keeps Breaking Up?

Marcoms manager: The new Bluetooth dongles are here.
VP of operations: Can I have a dongle?
Marcoms manager: You just like saying the word “dongle.”
VP of operations: Actually, I already have a dongle, it's just not a Bluetooth one. (winks)
Marcoms manager: So you can't use it from 33 feet away?
VP of operations: Nope. If I could, that would be like a Tyrannosaurus dongle!

Seattle, Washington