Bimbette news assistant: I’m going to go to Target tonight and find something real Jewish and bring it in… Oooh, maybe I could find a piñata — a Jewish piñata… With a menorah for a tail.
1401 Shop Road
Columbia, South Carolina
Bimbette news assistant: I’m going to go to Target tonight and find something real Jewish and bring it in… Oooh, maybe I could find a piñata — a Jewish piñata… With a menorah for a tail.
1401 Shop Road
Columbia, South Carolina
Bimbette: Twenty days — that’s, like, five weeks, right?
Patient peon: No.
Bimbette: I mean, business days.
Patient peon: … No.
Mercer Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: choking on giggles
Worker bee #1: I don’t know about dating him. I can’t get over the age difference. It would be–
Worker bee #2: –Like raping a child?
Worker bee #1: Well, no…
Worker bee #2: Not your, like, son…
Worker bee #1: [Silence.]
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Cube Eavesdropper
Office tech, fiddling with printer: I’m still getting that sensor dustiness error.
Office bimbette: Oh! I know how to fix that! You have to open it up and blow. Just give it a good blow and then it’s fine!
922 3rd Street
Sedro-Wolley, Washington
Overheard by: T-Rex
Office girl on the phone with boyfriend: So, my therapist says that I’m doing a great job. He said I could be the poster girl for mentally ill people who are successful because I take my meds, go to work, have a healthy relationship and stuff, you know? And I was totally flattered and agreeing with him, but then I thought, ‘You know, my parents are proud of me and stuff, but they wouldn’t want the world knowing I’m psycho, and it would probably embarrass them a little.’ So my doctor looks at me and says, ‘Um, you know there’s not really a poster girl, right?’
214 Lincoln Street
Allston, Massachusetts
Girl: Did signing the Articles of Confederation makes us confederates?
Quinsigamond Community College
Worcester, Massachusetts
Girl on cell: I totally need to go to a doctor. I think I have that imitation bowel syndrome!
Office
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Jason Carr
Bimbette #1: We are so lucky we can’t have forest fires here in Georgia.
Teacher: Forest fires can happen anywhere.
Bimbette #2: Nah, you gotta be closer to the equator than Georgia.
123 Broad Street
Dacula, Georgia
Overheard by: smokey the bear
Cocktail waitress #1: What’s a late-term abortion?
Cocktail waitress #2: I’m not sure, but I think it’s when you have an abortion when the baby’s being born.
Cocktail waitress #1: Ew! They can do that?! [A few minutes later] Where is Washington state?
Cocktail waitress #2: I think it’s near Seattle…
Cocktail waitress #1: You think they meant to say ‘Washington, DC’?
Cocktail waitress #2: I don’t know, but that’s pretty dumb of them if they did mean DC. People can get confused, you know?
Hotel and casino
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: HannA
Blonde salesgirl on phone with IT: My computer is not working.
IT guy: Did you plug everything in right?
Blonde salesgirl: Yes! Of course! The light is on, but nothing’s happening. [IT guy goes to her office, bends over, presses power button and walks out.] But the light was on!
IT guy: That’s your screen. The computer is the big box on the floor.
Office, Meilleur Street
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: ID-10-T
