Waitress to customers: We take vodka and add fresh-squeezed lemon juice… from lemons.
Pamplico Highway
Florence, South Carolina
Overheard by: I Prefer Limes
Waitress to customers: We take vodka and add fresh-squeezed lemon juice… from lemons.
Pamplico Highway
Florence, South Carolina
Overheard by: I Prefer Limes
Girl #1: The lasagna I had for lunch was made funny. It had air in it.
Girl #2: How’d they get air in the lasagna?
Girl #1: I think it was after the layer of sauce.
Bay Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Skank: Can I use your bathroom?
Clerk: Only if you promise not to pee on the floor.
Skank: Okay.
7-Eleven, Westmoreland Street and Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Lane In Richmond
Marketing professor: How many countries are in Africa? I’m going to go around the room, and each of you give me a number.
Student #1: 50?
Student #2: 62?
Student #3: 54?
Marketing professor to sorority girl: How many do you think?
Sorority girl: I thought Africa was a country.
Peoria, Illinois
Bimbette #1: Like, what’s a millennium?
Bimbette #2: I think it’s, like, when the year changes or something.
Video store,
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: A Thousand Years of Blondes
Female coworker #1: I just don’t know what to tell my kid.
Female coworker #2: What about?
Female coworker #1: Well, my six-year-old wants to know what’s the difference between a lamb and a sheep.
Female coworker #2: Oh, that’s tough. What are you going to tell her?
Female coworker #1: I dunno, probably that they are just similar species.
South Research Place
Central Islip, New York
Girl #1: It’s like that kid that was kidnapped for all those years, and then they found him and he was back with his family… but then he died a few years later in a boatorcycle accident.
Girl #2: A boatorcycle accident?
Girl #1: I meant motorcycle.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was gonna say… if he was boatorcycling it would have been his own fault. I mean, he shouldn’t have been boatorcycling.
Girl #1: I know!
4310 Sherwoodtowne Boulevard
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Blond barmaid: What’s in a whiskey and coke?
Pesto Café
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: retired from the service industry
Bimbo #1: I gotta go, I can’t be late to my class. It’s important.
Bimbo #2: What class?
Bimbo #1: Sociology. And by important, I mean I’m probably going to fail it.
1000 University Place
Newport News, Virginia
Coed #1: He had told me not to do anything special for his birthday. He said to forget he was having a birthday at all. But then he came over, and I could tell that he was down.
Coed #2: Because it was his birthday, and he was thirty.
Coed #1: Yeah.
Coed #2: And he’s dating an eighteen-year-old.
Coed #1: Shut up. So then we had sex? And it wasn’t, like, the most amazing time, but I faked it. But, like, really over the top? And he was happy the rest of the day!
University & College Avenues
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: over 30
