Engineer: Don’t make me laugh. It spreads germs.

700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas

Underling: How big is yours?
Team lead: I don’t know, let’s see.
Team lead: Man, that’s big!
Underling: If you think that’s big, that makes mine huge.
Team lead: Really? Let’s see it.
Underling: Okay.
Team lead: Wow. You weren’t kidding.

Fayetteville, Arkansas

Overheard by: Jonathan

Waitress: I wonder if I shake my cup around hard enough… Wait a minute, I don't know if flies ejaculate.

Searcy, Arkansas

Office girl #1: I have a canker sore.
Office girl #2: Maybe it’s herpes.
Office girl #1: No — I wish.

971 Coley Drive
Mountain Home, Arkansas

Overheard by: data entry girl

Office guy, as if about the weather: I'd be gay, except for the spooning.

Bentonville, Arkansas

Hydrologist: I wanted to be a flying monkey when I was little. I was like, ‘What do I have to do to be one of those?!’

700 West Capitol
Little Rock, Arkansas

Employee: I married her because I was tired of coming home to an empty house.
Boss: What? Get a dog, damn!


Coworker #1: I think I’m going to start The Arkansas Bachelor.
Coworker #2: Oh yeah? Women will be tripping all over themselves trying to get away from that.
Coworker #1: It’ll be better than just The Bachelor. Forget roses, I’d say, “Would you accept this Busch Light, Maggie Lou?”.

3685 Country Club
Fort Smith, Arkansas

Female coworker, about keeping bananas alive longer: I have a banana hammock, too!

World Trade Center

Overheard by: CorporateDrone

Telemarketing girl: New York people are so stupid! I'm so glad I wasn't raised on the West Coast!


Overheard by: random coworker