Loud American coworker in next cubicle: Are you a mammal?
University Research Centre
Sydney
Australia
Cubicle dweller #1: What better way to die, backpacking across Antarctica?
Cubicle dweller #2: I can see the headline now, “Man dies while being sodomized by a leopard seal.”
Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
Receptionist on phone: He fell into some kind of sink hole, and when they pulled him out he had leeches all over his feet!
Palo Alto, California
Receptionist: What’s that?
Worker: It’s the Phoenix Project logo.
Receptionist: Why’s there a bird on it?
Manager #1: You have got to be kidding?
Receptionist: What?
Manager #2: Bird, Phoenix? Hello?
Receptionist: I don’t get it.
Clerk: Okay, the bird…it’s a phoenix.
Receptionist: Phoenix is a city.
Clerk: …Phoenix is, also, a mythological bird.
Receptionist: Named after the city?
10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada
Designer: Any cat lady with a sticker-printing machine… can make stamps.
Manhattan, New York
Manager: We’re all sharks. Remember, guys.
Employee: Huh? Sharks?
Manager: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep moving their whole life or they’ll die. They never stop moving. So keep moving, guys! We’re sharks!
Employee: So basically what you’re saying is that if we stop moving, you’ll kill us all?
208 Chain Lake Drive
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Assistant: Did you know that dogs get breast cancer?
Supervisor: What?
Assistant: I used to work at a vet office, and they would bring in dogs with breast cancer!
Supervisor, after googling it: Yeah, I guess they do!
Assistant: Oh, really?! I made that up!
Supervisor: I'm done with you.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Digitdy
Woman in cubicle to peon: Did you see me do the donkey face?
Malden, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Better than a punch
Account Manager: Hey, do you feel like a monkey in the middle of an idiot sandwich?
Process Analyst: That would make you one of the idiots. Are you calling yourself an idiot?
Account Manager: Oh…huh?
5 minutes later.
Process Analyst: Hey, do you feel like an idiot in a monkey sandwich?
Account Manager: Ha! Now you are the idiot!
Process Analyst: No…that still makes you the idiot.
520 Guthridge Court
Norcross, Georgia
Coworker #1: It was amazing. He was the first blind man to climb mount Everest. He was in the news and everything.
Coworker #2: Did they say anything about his dog?
Coworker #1: What?
Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meesh
