Animals

What Happens When You Learn History on a Hippie Commune

Maintenance idiot: How do you think they came up with that whole groundhog thing?
Electronics clerk: What groundhog thing?
Maintenance idiot: You know, the groundhog sees his shadow and we have six more months of winter. How do you think they came up with that idea?
Electronics clerk: Ummmm… It’s six weeks…
Maintenance idiot: I bet it was all of those animal activist settlers back when they came to America, or something.
Electronics clerk: Animal activist settlers?

Ft. Smith, Arkansas

Overheard by: i love my job

Worst. Tooth Fairy. Ever.

Diner: Well, you know, when she was young she just liked to sleep with dead animals under her pillow.

Denver, Colorado

…Are You As Turned on As I Am?

Male coworker: Dugong! I wonder what dugongs taste like.
Female coworker: Hippos?
Male coworker: Except saltier.

Grahamstown
South Africa

Overheard by: EnvironmentalScientistsAreWeird

Pretty Picky for Somebody without Hedge Clippers

Coworker #1: So I was talking to my friend on the phone, and there was a snake in his room! I would have snapped it in half! I would’ve come after it with a pair of hedge clippers.
Coworker #2: It wouldn’t so much snap as it would snip.

405 Main Street
Milford, Michigan

Overheard by: John M.

They Rarely Complain About It

Boss to secretary: How do you know farm animals don't understand daylight savings time?

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: CrazyCurator

Come to Think of it, it Does Smell Incredibly Fuzzy and Cute in Here

Student: It kinda smells like bunnies.
Supervisor: What?
Student: Yeah, bunnies. Haven’t you ever smelled bunnies?
Supervisor: Uh, no, I don’t go around sniffing rodents usually. And besides, I’m congested, so all I’m smelling today is boogers.

1145 E. South Campus Drive
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Rasputin

We All Had Appetites, but You Rectum

Postal employee: I'm about ready to eat the butthole of a cow.

Post Office
Michigan

Remember? The ASPCA Won’t Let Us Forget!

Daughter-in-law cooing over another shopper’s baby: Awww — look at that face!
Mother-in-law: You’ll have one of your own soon.
Daughter-in-law: [Snorts] Talk to your son about that.
Mother-in-law: Well, that’s between the two of you, I think.
Daughter-in-law: You know how I am. If I don’t get what I want, I just go out and get it myself. Remember how I wanted a kitten?

Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Fellow shopper

Happens to Every Guy at Some Point

Lowly finance clerk to director: What'd you lose?
Director: The eyeball from my carrot.

Nunavut
Canada

Overheard by: Finance Officer #3

You Know Those Guys Whose Signal Keeps Breaking Up?

Marcoms manager: The new Bluetooth dongles are here.
VP of operations: Can I have a dongle?
Marcoms manager: You just like saying the word “dongle.”
VP of operations: Actually, I already have a dongle, it's just not a Bluetooth one. (winks)
Marcoms manager: So you can't use it from 33 feet away?
VP of operations: Nope. If I could, that would be like a Tyrannosaurus dongle!

Seattle, Washington

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist