I’m Wearing One Now

PETCO employee: All of the employees here love the wee wee pads. We use them all the time!

PETCO
San Rafael, California

Overheard by: Housetrained

Posted on February 10, 2015
Animals, California, Default, Feelings, Retail, Weirdness

Maybe She Was Sensing That She’s Smarter Than Her Owner

Canadian woman: Things have been so strange around here lately with all the closed door meetings and whispering. Even my dog was really restless the other night, but I think she was sensing the earthquake and possible tsunami.

4027 Tampa Road
Oldsmar, Florida

Posted on February 1, 2015
Animals, Crazies, Florida, Gripes

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service, People!

Waiter to other servers: Okay, just so everyone knows, there's a Sasquatch loose somewhere in the bathroom.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 31, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, Illinois, Restroom, Weirdness

Unless It Counts When He Sticks His Nose in My Crotch

Coworker #1: How's the new dog?
Coworker #2: It's a shitload of work. I haven't been out in weeks.
Coworker #1: Really? That sucks!
Coworker #2: I think my dog is turning me asexual.

Washington, DC

Posted on January 30, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, Questions, Sexuality, Washington DC, Weirdness

Otherwise I’d Be Saying This Stuff to Her Face

Rep #1: She wears disgusting eye makeup…like a tarantula.
Rep #2: Gross!
Rep #1: I know. She looks like a tramp. I mean, she can’t keep her legs closed.
Rep #2: Nasty!
Rep #1: She thinks she is so hot. Yeah, right.
Rep #2: Wait, isn’t she like, your best friend?
Rep #1: Of course!

Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island

Posted on January 29, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Insults, Physical Appearance, Rhode Island, Sensory Experiences

I'm Not Falling Into This Trap Again

Black coworker to white coworker: I mean, some times you have to call a spade a spade and a monkey a monkey, right?
White coworker: Ah, I guess.

Fort Myers, Florida

Posted on January 28, 2015
Animals, Coworkers, Florida, Questions, Race, Words

Or Would That Be Cheetahng?

Receptionist: What if a man mated with a cheetah? Would he be able to participate in the Olympics?

Redmond, Washington

Overheard by: Cheetaur

Posted on January 26, 2015
Animals, General Idiocy, Questions, Receptionists, Sports, Washington, Weirdness

And Perhaps Some More Ritalin

Checkout girl: Hi, how are… [Turns to employee at next register.] Have I ever told you how badly I want a pet monkey? Like, besides getting out of this hellhole, it’s, like, the only thing I want in life.

Oneida, New York

Overheard by: fellow customer in line