Frustrated coworker: Every time I get mad at Sue, I keep telling myself “what would Jesus do?” but one of these days, Jesus is going to yell at her!
Washington, DC
Frustrated coworker: Every time I get mad at Sue, I keep telling myself “what would Jesus do?” but one of these days, Jesus is going to yell at her!
Washington, DC
Customer: I don't care! I don't care that I need to talk to him! I don't care that he's unavailable! Do you hear me? I don't care.
Customer service rep, blandly: Then why have you called us today, sir, if you're so apathetic?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i used to be his supervisor
Camera guy to audio guy: It's zero! Zero is zero! You can't have more above zero than zero!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Tigertail
(two event planners are looking at their supply boxes for upcoming events)
Planner #1: My box is so full! I didn't realize there was so much stuff squeezed into my box.
Planner #2: Me either! But I don't like all these things that were put in my box. Who has been sticking stuff in my box? I don't like when people stick stuff in my box without asking me first.
Planner #1: We need to tell people to start leaving our boxes alone.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: You Better Leave My Box Alone!
Annoyed boss, barging in to cubicle: You ignored my call?
Worker, glancing at phone: Huh? Oh…yeah, a little bit.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Manager (after finding a flyer advertising “weed for sale” on his windshield): At first I was pissed, because they came to my home and put it on my car. But then I was like: “Really? There’s no way I’m paying that much for an eighth!”
Texas
(co-worker #1 limps to copy machine)
Co-worker #2: Dude, what’s the matter with you?
Co-worker #1: I’m all messed up. But I’ll survive… eventually.
Sidney Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Office worker, every time her phone rings: Fuck. What now?
Mississauga
Canadia
Security guy: I could be an officer, you know.
Sarge: Oh, shut the fuck up.
Security guy: No, really. It’s just politics stopping me! Just politics!
Sarge: Oh, is Rudy fucking Giuliani preventing you from becoming a police officer? Why don’t you fucking explain that to all of us?
Public Safety
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Red-faced, furious manager, gesticulating at mildly messy sales rack: This is a disaster! Everyone put everything everywhere!
Plymouth, Michigan
