Coworker #1, reading article: ‘Morphine is highly addictive…’
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive.
Coworker #1: But it says right here in this encyclopedia article–
Coworker #2: —Morphine is not addictive.
All other coworkers: It says right here!
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive! I know this for a fact!
Lunch break
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Sales rep: No, we cannot move the piano on the ship… The piano cannot be moved… No, we cannot move it to another room… The piano cannot be moved… What do you not understand? We cannot move the piano!
Chelsea Piers, Pier 6
New York
Owner: All I can do about it is bitch, so I'll bitch. Is that okay with you?
Clerk: We haven't found a way to stop you yet, so yeah, I guess so.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFS
Matronly German supervisor: When you do not clean the counters correctly, my balls get very unhappy!
Bahia Vista Street
Sarasota, Florida
CSR to another: I am so tired today… I couldn't sleep last night. First I was waiting to check the Powerball numbers, and then found out I didn't win and have to go back to work today. I was so mad I couldn't fall asleep!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: unleaded
Female coworker, about manager: I'm not sayin' that I'm fuckin' Coretta Scott King in this bitch, but I'm not fartin' in a cubicle!
West Lafayette, Indiana
Coworker #1: I got so mad at my daughter that I threw a spoon through my refrigerator.
Coworker #2: Through it?
Coworker #1: Well, I dented it.
Coworker #2: Oh, that's no big deal. Everyone I know has done that.
Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Sales rep on phone with customer: And then I spanked him and put him back inside. I was so mad at him!
Keene, New Hampshire
Boss: Hey whackadoo! [pause] Shut the fuck up.
Rochester, Minnesota
Overheard by: Kirby
Peon to boss looking for the bigger boss: He is not there. He is murdering Mike*.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: has a will
