Advice

Ad Design #1: I’m having trouble of sleeping and was thinking of getting Ambien.
Ad Design #2: You’re too young to take sleeping pills. Have you tried crack?

151 West 34th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Sarah

Office grunt: … And that’s why you should only have stupid children.

Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Coworker on phone: No, you can't let Stan do that! If he uses that bulldozer in your yard it'll look like some blind guy with his head between his ass.

Columbia, New Jersey

Co-worker #1: Does she always send emails in 72 point font?
Co-worker #2: Oh, that’s “mad” typing.
Co-worker #1: How should I respond to this?
Co-worker #3: You should reply using 86 point font.
Co-worker #2: They don’t make 86 point font. I’ve tried it before. You should use 8 point font in Bernhard Fashion BT or some other font that’s hard to read.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I’ll do that. She won’t be able to read it.
Co-worker #2: That’ll really piss her off.

620 Greison Trail
Newnan, Georgia

Nurse #1: You better grab that. It’s leaning like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Nurse #2: Oh, I’ve never been to France.

339 Windermere Road
London, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Amanda

VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: debragail

Suit to intern: Why don't you have your boyfriend dig you out?

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

IT guy: Yeah, the UI needs to be top-notch. Like the best thing you've ever done. Uh, don't spend too much time on it.

Kirkland, Washington

Overheard by: Ralph H

Senior engineer: Drop it down hard, and if it comes up, grab it.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Pip

Bathroom patron #1: You're takin' another shit? What are you, sick or something?
Bathroom patron #2: Nah, man, it's healthy. You're supposed to be takin' seven to ten shits a day.

Manhattan, New York