Advice

Teens Really Should Be Cleaning That Up Themselves

Female co-worker #1: So my ob-gyn has been seeing all these young girls for their annuals this summer. She was amazed at how much sex they’re having. Like 2 to 3 times a day. She had to tell them they had to stop having intercourse for a month so the Pill could take effect, and they say, “What are we supposed to do all summer?” She was shocked.
Female co-worker #2: How old are these girls?
Female co-worker #1: She said they’re between 17 and 20 years old.
Female co-worker #2: Geez. Even if I had time to have sex 2 times a day, I’d have better things to do!
Female co-worker #1: Yeah, like clean up after my teenagers!

Motor Vehicle Building
Trenton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Not getting any either

…Is the Main Thing I Learned in Business School.

Intern to another: You can get a lot of blow for an AK.

Toronto
Canadia

Why “Where's the Stapler?” Can Be a Dangerous Question

Female professional: If you push hard enough, you can get me to eat just about anything.

Marlborough, Massachusetts

You Are a Bad Man

Cube rat #1: You’ve got to be shitting me… My grandma is trying to add me on MySpace.
Cube rat #2: That’s sort of sweet.
Cube rat #1: I’m her second friend. I didn’t know she knew what a computer was…
Cube rat #2: Dude, pop her comment cherry!

1932 Wildcat Canyon Road
San Diego, California

3PM Smoke Break

Ad Design #1: I’m having trouble of sleeping and was thinking of getting Ambien.
Ad Design #2: You’re too young to take sleeping pills. Have you tried crack?

151 West 34th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Sarah

They Make Less-Expensive Bad Decisions

Office grunt: … And that’s why you should only have stupid children.

Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland

…Unless That's the Landscaping Look You're Going for

Coworker on phone: No, you can't let Stan do that! If he uses that bulldozer in your yard it'll look like some blind guy with his head between his ass.

Columbia, New Jersey

10AM Reply to Email

Co-worker #1: Does she always send emails in 72 point font?
Co-worker #2: Oh, that’s “mad” typing.
Co-worker #1: How should I respond to this?
Co-worker #3: You should reply using 86 point font.
Co-worker #2: They don’t make 86 point font. I’ve tried it before. You should use 8 point font in Bernhard Fashion BT or some other font that’s hard to read.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I’ll do that. She won’t be able to read it.
Co-worker #2: That’ll really piss her off.

620 Greison Trail
Newnan, Georgia

…Or to Geography Class

Nurse #1: You better grab that. It’s leaning like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Nurse #2: Oh, I’ve never been to France.

339 Windermere Road
London, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Amanda

The Day the Company Springs for Phones, It'll Blow Their Minds.

VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: debragail

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