Female coworker #1: You can’t blow them if you’re laughing.
Female coworker #2: I guess that’s true.
Female coworker #3: Even when I blow them they keep coming back into my face. This is why you should not have bubbles at an office party!
Houston, Texas
Teacher: You know, now that they are both 18, we can rape them, and it wouldn’t be considered statutory.
2 Stewart Place
Eastchester, New York
Overheard by: Johnnymunz
Student: You haven't lived until you've failed out of school at least once.
BOCES
Bellport, New York
Overheard by: So thats why you're in Boces!
Employee: Did you hear, there was another bombing on the subway in London?
Boss: I don’t care how balmy it is in London, I wouldn’t go over there right now.
217 10th Street
Brandon, Manitoba
Canadia
Cashier #1: Hey man, I think I might be gay.
Cashier #2: What’s wrong?
Cashier #1: I keep having fantasies about being with a man. What should I do?
Cashier #2: Jerk off. A lot. If you do it enough, it’ll get the gay out. It worked for me.
HEB Austin 15, North Lamar
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Jeff
Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.
Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: get back to work!
Supervisor to file clerk: You know, I really don’t see you in the corporate workplace at all… I see you somewhere doing something violent like the American Gladiators or something.
101 South 5th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Candice
Cube rat #1: Hey, didn’t they have one of those money-tubes here at the Thanksgiving party last year?
Cube rat #2: Yeah, where you jump in and catch the money? I got 20 bucks!
Cube rat #1: Hmmm. They should do something festive for the holiday… like canned hams in the tube!
2131 3rd Avenue
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Amused
Manager: Did you get a response back from that email you sent to the buyer yet?
Co-worker: No; I didn’t ask her for one. She knew what action I took and if she didn’t agree with me, she can call me.
Manager: No, no. You should always include “please advise” in the email, in case they don’t receive the email.
8000 Bent Branch Drive
Irving, Texas
