Counselor: Oh, I read about a blind couple that sailed to Australia without any assistance!
Secretary: They think it's Australia. Their kids just pulled them around the harbor for a few days, and took them to outback.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Admin on phone with daughter: Sure, you can go to Puerto Rico with the Jones*. (pause) How far is Puerto Rico, anyways? (pause) It's not really that far, right? It's like, part of the US, but it's one of those things–like a stepchild.
Lutherville, Maryland
Flamboyant marketing director: In my opinion, prostitutes are great because they help my liver. Let me explain–it cuts the process in half. I don't have to waste my money buying drinks for guys at the bar that still might not sleep with me. So… in the end, my liver is healthier because of prostitutes.
Old lady assistant: Prosciutto is good for the liver? I'll put it in a salad!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lowly Intern
Secretary #1: I'm going to Atlanta this weekend.
Secretary #2: Cool! The city or the island?
New York Presbyterian Hospital
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Vespertine
Secretary on personal phone call: Oh yeah? You're just gonna fall asleep with your finger on it again?
Lincoln Park, Michigan
Overheard by: T
Foreign assistant: I like when he says “prostitution.” It sounds like a delicious meal.
State & Madison
Chicago, Illinois
Secretary: So, who wrote the Tom Clancy books again?
Boss: (looks at her)
Secretary: I feel really dumb right now.
Barrie
Canadia
Overheard by: Next room over
Manager to new guy: Come here. I wanna show you something.
Secretary: Don't close your eyes, don't put out your hands, don't put anything in your mouth.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: good advice
Office assistant on phone: No, you have never been able to use funding for summer expenses. (pause) When did this happen? (pause) January is not summer!
Cambridge, Massachusetts
