Trainer: What does the prefix “ante” mean?
Student: Against
Trainer: No, this is spelled a-n-t-e. It means before.
Student: Yeah, like antefreeze0
Trainer: Huh?
Student: You know, you have to put it in the car before it freezes.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Peter? Since when do you go by Peter?
Pete: Well, it was a more formal thing, so we used that.
Co-worker #1: I’m not used to seeing Peter.
Co-worker #2: That’s not what we heard.
5450 Frantz Road
Dublin, Ohio
Safety Manager: Uncooked chicken is just…foul!
5409 N. Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Julia
Super-rich boss’s wife: So you know how we always call my husband God?
Employees at luncheon: [Puzzled silence]
Super-rich boss’s wife: Seriously, you know how we call him God?
Employees at luncheon: [Silence]
Super-rich boss’s wife: Well, I bought him a horse! And we’re going to call it Jesus! Isn’t that hilarious?
2725 Henry Street
Augusta, Georgia
US suit: …a dedicated router.
UK suit #1: I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s actually “roo-ter”.
US suit: A rooter is a swine. If you’re going to be in America, speak English.
UK suit #2: Two hundred years, and they still haven’t gotten it yet!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Sales guy: …and then five years later, I’m into benchmarking.
Legal: That’s funny, when you said “Benchmarking” I heard “Bitchmarking”…sorry, ladies.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Suit #1: So it’s a formalization of a process management control?
Suit #2: Well, I wouldn’t say “control” but yes.
200 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Project Manager: Wegman’s was voted the #1 company to work for in America.
Sales VP: Really?
Project Manager: Yeah. Do you know what their slogan is? “Employees first, customers second.”
Engineer: Well, we’ve been putting customers second for years!
Sales VP: Actually it’s customers second, employees third, and we don’t know what the first is.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Receptionist: Doc, there is no code for abnormal ejaculation. I looked under Abnormal & under Ejaculation. Nuthin’.
Doctor: Gimme the book.
Receptionist: What’s his problem? Minute man?
Doctor: Check under “retrograde”.
Receptionist: What does that mean? Too fast?
Doctor: Broken. He doesn’t ejaculate at all. Can’t.
838 Pelhamdale Ave
New Rochelle, NY
Overheard by: Lucky
Guy #1: Can I look down your pile? The pile under your desk?
Guy #2: Uh…
Guy #1: Wow, that came out wrong.
120 Morehead Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
