Client: Is that a square or an oval?
Boss: Um… Square…?
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Grad student: Let's get that second kit, there's more solution and tubes.
Advisor: Great, we'll get more buck for our dollar.
Grad student: Um, what?
Advisor: More buck for your dollar.
Grad student: Do you mean “more bang for our buck”?
Advisor: Well, I thought that's what it was, but that sounds dirty. Like prostitutes or something, so I said the other thing.
Grad student: Why does your mind always go straight to prostitutes?
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Cashier #1: What do you think of, you know, when people stick random Zs into words? Like, ‘For shizzle, my nizzle’?
Cashier #2: Man, I hate it when people do that. They sound like they ain’t got no speech.
8700 East 63rd Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Jedusor
Manager: Or are you in so deep that you have to finish it before you can move on?
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Overheard by: figuratively speaking, of course
Boss: Can you come help me with this Excel thing? I deleted something that I needed.
Admin: Okay. Well, you should just click “undo”.
Boss: What's “clickundo”?
Dayton, Oregon
Overheard by: glad to be in a different department
Boss: She’s just too crazy for me. She’s…what’s the word? Phonetic!
Associate: She sounds things out?
480 San Antonio
Mountain View, California
Office lady: This girl that was in the Paralympics has 1.5 arms and no legs below the knee. She won 5 medals in the games, and is an engineer.
Office guy: What? Like on a train?
Office lady: No… For BC Hydro, duh!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: LJ
Frustrated manager: So just take that and put it in the bitch! I mean, bin. Put it in the bin.
University Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: Hired to do Bitch-Work
28-year-old intern: How do you spell your last name?
22-year-old intern: “Towne”. You know, like “City” only with an “e”.
28-year-old agent: Don’t you mean like “Town” with an “e”?
22-year-old intern: Nope, I mean “City”. But I suppose “Town” would work too. I never thought of that.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Defense attorney: Good morning prospective ladies and gentlemen — I mean, jurors.
125 East 8th Avenue
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: the unchosen
