Coworker to another: If faced with the possibility of vampire sex, I would definitely risk it.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker to another: If faced with the possibility of vampire sex, I would definitely risk it.
Manhattan, New York
Office girl #1, singing: Sometimes I feel like saying “Lord, I just don't care,” but you got the love I need to see me through.
Office girl #2: Fitting with the rapture and all tomorrow. Sarah's pissed cause I am going to heaven and she isn't. Apparently the Jews are having rapture parties.
Burlington, Massachusetts
Worried manager: What are you doing over there? Sounds like you are playing with Legos. Dear God, you are!
Hartford, Connecticut
Workbee on cell: Woah, she clogged that toilet? That’s a new toilet! What’d she do, take a gorilla shit or something?!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Eileen
Coworker on phone: Now, there's some guys that can really pitch washers. Don't shit yourself.
Point Comfort, Texas
Overheard by: Did I really just hear that?
Giggling girl in cubicle #1: Why can't I make it bigger?
Giggling girl in cubicle #2: This is so uncomfortable.
Giggling girl in cubicle #1: It gets better and better as it goes on.
Austin, Texas
Peon #1: I bought my son a small hamster when he was about seven or eight. We didn't know it at the time, but the hamster was pregnant with a litter of nine. After she had given birth to her pups, we noticed that she started biting their little heads off. My son was very upset because of this, and so was I. I looked it up online and I ended up reading somewhere that hamster moms don't behead their young after their eyes have opened, and we had one hamster left, and its eyes had opened. We figured everything would be fine, but when I came home from work the next day we saw that she killed that one as well. My son was bawling his eyes out that evening.
Peon #2: That's terrible. What ended up happening?
Peon #1: I put her in a coffee canister and took her out to the woods… and I threw her in a snake pit. I'm not sure if she made it out.
Hampton, Virginia
Coworker, waving around a Stanley knife: I keep picking this up thinking it's a banana.
Sydney
Australia
[Dead of winter.]Supervisor: Oh my god -short sleeves! Why didn’t you wear your coat?
Employee: I looked out the window and it didn’t look cold outside.
Dallas Parkway
Addison, Texas
Office director to peon: Look what she's taking!
HR rep: I've decided to take your pink fly swatter!
Peon: Yay! Are you taking it home or to your new office?
HR rep: I think… home.
Old manager: What are you going to do with that ugly thing?
HR rep, grinning: Nothing work-related, I assure you!
New manager on first day: Wow. Huh!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Peon
