Sales rep to manager: Your shirt is a very weird green. It reminds me of green tea.
Manager: Do you want to eat me?
Sales rep (staring silently): Uh no.
Oregon
Overheard by: I love green tea
Sales rep to manager: Your shirt is a very weird green. It reminds me of green tea.
Manager: Do you want to eat me?
Sales rep (staring silently): Uh no.
Oregon
Overheard by: I love green tea
Grumpy loud guy to confused coworker: Stop going out and drinking your lunch!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Female employee #1: Where does it say in my job description that I'm the aquarium maintenance person, the chocolate jockey, the expert on suicide?
Female employee #2: Yeah, but you asked for that one!
Female employee #1: Which one? The chocolate jockey?
Female employee #2: Yeah.
Female employee #3: Yee-haw! I'm riding my chocolate pony!
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Working bee, quietly: Santa Claus, you cunt!
King Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: highly amused
Geek #1: So, I just don't know why it's running so slowly.
Geek #2: Did you take a tcp dump?
Geek #1: Oh, that's a good idea. I'll go take a dump and look at it!
Geek #2: Let me know how that works out for you.
Westminster, Colorado
Coworker #1: I like the smell of gasoline.
Coworker #2: Oh, me too!
Coworker #3: That's because you used to do drugs.
Coworker #4: Who are you people?
Coworker #3: I like the smell of jet fuel.
Coworker #5: I like the smell of burnt rubber.
Coworker #3: That's because you used to be into dungeons.
Coworker #5 (wistfully): Oh, not anymore though…I'm married now.
Broadway & Canal
New York City
Overheard by: office peon loves her job
Male coworker singing in creepy falsetto: I work hard for my money, uh huh, uh huh, so hard for my money!
Valencia, California
Overheard by: disturbed yet laughing
Girl yelling in conference room: I have an eager beaver.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: cube master
Crazy lady: Help! My food has shit all over it! Help!
Young waitress: Wait, what?
Crazy lady: Don't “what” me.
Young waitress: No, really, what's wrong with it? Is it the wrong dish?
Crazy lady: You didn't tell me it had shit in it.
Young waitress: To what are you referring, precisely?
Crazy lady: The shit the shit the shit! (waves hands madly over dish, gesturing at her pasta, covered in a sauce)
Young waitress: Wait, do you mean the sauce?
Crazy lady: Don't “sauce” me!
Northville, Michigan
Female peon to IT peon: I just found a naked computer.
New York City, New York
