Female coworker on phone: I don't care if you're jacking off in your room, or in the bathroom or whatever… You aren't gonna be saying that to a girl.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Female coworker on phone: I don't care if you're jacking off in your room, or in the bathroom or whatever… You aren't gonna be saying that to a girl.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Shop assistant: So, can I help you with anything else?
50-something woman: Yes, I'd like a big, long screw. About this big. (she demonstrates with hands)
Shop assistant: Wouldn't we all!
Hardware Store
Australia
Female coworker, after finding old file down in file cabinets: Look, Rod and I just made a miracle in the basement!
Insurance Office
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: TVannie
Coworker on phone: That would be the best present you've ever given me…an erection!
Chicago, Illinois
Overly exuberant raffle organizer: I'll drag someone in, blindfold them, and say “stick your hand in this!”
New England
Overheard by: Dude
Attorney: Do you have an extra pen I can have?
Receptionist: Sure.
Attorney (writing with pen): Actually, I'm kind of suspicious of this pen. I'll just go get one of my own.
Hall of Justice Building
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Liz
Suit: I saw a dude on the train this morning with an ass so big when he sat down he got taller!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Woman to employee walking by: Almost all these cartons have cracked eggs.
(employee keeps walking)
Woman, muttering: I just thought you might want to know about all these cracked eggs so you could remove them.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: She Didn't Care When I Told Her Either
Lazy-ass secretary to super lazy-ass secretary: So, we were making love and right there, my period started. He said: “I don't mind, I like it when you bleed.”
Mexico City
Mexico
