Receptionist: I found out that I can't go to Disney World because I have a paper due that week and I don't want to miss 100 points.
Boss (who is rather overweight and old): That is really too bad but I mean, I'll go in your place.
Receptionist: Only if you get Mickey Mouse ears and go to the castle and have dinner with the princesses.
Boss: Sure. I'll be the best fucking princess those bitches have ever seen!
Bellingham, Washington
White dude to black coworker: The cool thing about Obama is that he is able to transcend race. He’s the ultimate embodiment of American multiculturalism and pluralism. He’s white and black, and his race doesn’t matter, he’s got character, which was Martin Luther King’s dream, that people would be judged according to the content of their character, not the color of their skin.
White dude #2: Yeah, well, I just can’t wait until Obama gets into office and he invites MTV over to the White House to film an episode of Cribs and he’s got a stripper pole in the basement right by his poster of Scarface.
130th Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Stan Green
Engineer #1: A charred, dark husk of evil smoldering into infinity would be cool.
Engineer #2: I’d prefer the Dyson Sphere. Though I personally find Niven ringworlds much more aesthetically pleasing.
Engineer #1: But a husk!
Engineer #2: A Dyson sphere could be kind of a husk.
Engineer #1: Come on! Spooky husk!
Engineer #2: No! No spooky husk!
Engineer #1: Aww.
Engineer #2: …We can make the Dyson Sphere kind of spooky if you insist.
401 Elliott Avenue W
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Bjorn Townsend
Co-worker: Can you e-mail a hard copy of that file to me?
1420 5th Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Call center rep to another: You know, some people who don't speak English very well are like, so ignorant!
Seattle, Washington
Engineer to lunchroom: So do you guys know if we’re officially called ‘United States of America’ or is it just ‘United States’?
413 Pine St
Seattle, Washington
Graphic designer holding two envelopes with different designs: Are you curious?
Marketing coordinator: I dunno… Are you bi-curious?
Graphic designer, stunned: Do you know what that means?
Marketing coordinator: Ummm… Doesn’t it mean doubly curious?
401 South Jackson Street
Seattle, Washington
User: If you don’t turn my cell phone back on today, I’ll tell the families of my patients and their lawyers that you are responsible for the patient’s death, because I couldn’t be reached!
Call center operator: Sir, if you are expecting your patients to die, perhaps they should switch to a different physician…
310 W. Bakerview Road
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Josh Sinnett
Woman on phone: Yes, thank you — she has an excessive licking problem.
East Sprague
Spokane, Washington
Office guy: Your toaster is too small.
Office gal: It isn't my toaster.
Office guy: It's close to your desk.
Office gal: If I shoved it up your ass, would it be your toaster?
Seattle, Washington
