That's What Our Bin Of Spare Nipples Is For

Angry manager on phone to late employee: I don't care if your nipples fall off! You need to get your ass in here now!

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on November 28, 2014
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Office Politics, On the phone, Virginia

Do I Have to Explain Judaism to You Again?

40-ish female cube dweller: Do you have your Christmas frock picked out?
20-ish female cube dweller: What?
40-ish female cube dweller: Do you have a Christmas frock?
20-ish female cube dweller: Like a… dress?
40-ish female cube dweller: Yeah! To wear on Christmas!
20-ish female cube dweller: We don’t really get dressed up on Christmas.
40-ish female cube dweller: [Disappointed silence.]

1701 North Beauregard Street
Alexandria, Virginia

Posted on November 26, 2014
Coworkers, Questions, Virginia

They Failed to Change the Filter, Though

Lawyer: So, you can recall that you’ve had at least one abortion.
Witness: Yes.
Lawyer: So, was this an overnight procedure or something like an outpatient procedure?
Witness: Oh, it was in and out — just like changing oil.
Court reporter: [Gasps.]

Norfolk, Virginia

Posted on November 22, 2014
Strangers, Time Management, Virginia

He Needs Special Arthropodic Shoes

Asian girl: I only know his size in millimeters -it’s 245.
Shoe store clerk: I won’t be able to help you, we only have American sizes and centipedes.
Asian girl: Ok, Einstein. Give me a 24.5 centipede.

Potomac Mills
Woodbridge, Virginia

Overheard by: Steve

Posted on November 20, 2014
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Default, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Insults, Offers and requests, Retail, Smart customers, Virginia

You Don’t Start Out Hating Them

Angry girl coworker: Goddammit! I fucking hate people!
Friend: But you work in HR…

501 Front Street
Norfolk, Virginia

Posted on November 14, 2014
Coworkers, Gripes, Virginia

“Hi, [Libby]!” replied the group in unison that night.

Co-worker: I really wish they served beer in the vending machines…by the way, I’m not really an alcoholic, it’s just been one of those days… oh, by the way, you’re new, right? My name’s [Libby], nice to meet you!

300 South Main Street
Blacksburg, Virginia