Manager: One day you’re going to make a really good old man.
Richmond, Virginia
Manager: One day you’re going to make a really good old man.
Richmond, Virginia
Boss to intern: Oh, you're from Kentucky! Is there anything important there?
Kentucky-born intern: Uh, the gold vault.
Boss: (blank stare)
Kentucky-born intern: You know, Fort Knox.
Boss: Oh, yeah! That's where they get the saying “She's locked up tighter than Fort Knox!”
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Disgruntled woman: Did you get my e-mail?
Boss: Yes, but you’re so consistently negative I didn’t bother to read it. Plus, your e-mails are always too long.
Disgruntled woman: What?
Boss: From now on, you’re limited to two paragraphs– No! Two sentences. And try to be positive for a change.
Chantilly, Virginia
Secretary on phone: How am I? I'm finer than a frog's hair split four ways.
(pause) I *said* I'm… finer… than… a… frog's… hair… split… four… ways.
(pause) It means I'm miserable!
Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Virginia
IT worker: I am the worst drunk driver ever.
Richmond, Virginia
Male coworker: Why are you laughing so hard?
Female coworker: I have absolutely no idea, but her head is in my crotch!
Fairfax, Virginia
Pool Owner: Yes, I would like you to close my pool for the winter.
Clerk: Okay, great. Where is the pool located.
Pool Owner: In our backyard.
Clerk: Yes Ma’am I appreciate that since we have never found a permit approved for a front yard pool. Now what is the address of your pool?
Pool Owner: Was that a stupid answer?
Henninger Court
Chantilly, Virginia
Overheard by: SKippyMom
Worker bee: Is that Phylicia Rashad on top of our tree?
Fairfax, Virginia
Worker guy: Ya know, my wife and I have a parakeet that just will not die!
Mayland Drive
Richmond, Virginia
Soldiers are doing push-ups on frost-covered grass.
Soldier #1: Man, it’s cold! I can’t feel my hands!
Soldier #2: I can’t feel my testicles.
Soldier #3: My testicles are all crawled up inside my body…so snug…and so warm…
Soldier #4: I wish I was a testicle.
Soccer field #3
Fort Eustis, Virginia
