Virginia

Boss: Anyone want a croissant? I have some leftovers!
New hire: I don't eat croissants. I did once, I was nine, and I got a really bad headache.

Advertising Agency
Richmond, Virginia

Supervisor: Can you send this letter to The Netherlands?
Receptionist: Where's Neverland?

Old Town Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: i wish i could say this doesn't happen on a regular basis…

Blue collar #1: Man, that’s a large hole.
Blue collar #2: Well, I loosened the hole up just before you came in here.
Blue collar #1: I’ll seal that up tight.
Blue collar #2: I had to give it some good shakes to get it loose.

1545 Crossways Boulevard
Chesapeake, Virginia

Manager: One day you’re going to make a really good old man.

Richmond, Virginia

Boss to intern: Oh, you're from Kentucky! Is there anything important there?
Kentucky-born intern: Uh, the gold vault.
Boss: (blank stare)
Kentucky-born intern: You know, Fort Knox.
Boss: Oh, yeah! That's where they get the saying “She's locked up tighter than Fort Knox!”

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Disgruntled woman: Did you get my e-mail?
Boss: Yes, but you’re so consistently negative I didn’t bother to read it. Plus, your e-mails are always too long.
Disgruntled woman: What?
Boss: From now on, you’re limited to two paragraphs– No! Two sentences. And try to be positive for a change.

Chantilly, Virginia

Secretary on phone: How am I? I'm finer than a frog's hair split four ways.
(pause) I *said* I'm… finer… than… a… frog's… hair… split… four… ways.
(pause) It means I'm miserable!

Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Virginia

IT worker: I am the worst drunk driver ever.

Richmond, Virginia

Male coworker: Why are you laughing so hard?
Female coworker: I have absolutely no idea, but her head is in my crotch!

Fairfax, Virginia

Pool Owner: Yes, I would like you to close my pool for the winter.
Clerk: Okay, great. Where is the pool located.
Pool Owner: In our backyard.
Clerk: Yes Ma’am I appreciate that since we have never found a permit approved for a front yard pool. Now what is the address of your pool?
Pool Owner: Was that a stupid answer?

Henninger Court
Chantilly, Virginia

Overheard by: SKippyMom