Virginia

CSR #1, complaining about trainee: All this guy keeps saying is “I'm a senior engineer; I already know what I'm doing,” and flat out refuses to listen to what I'm telling him. I mean, it's just a title, guy. Stop being a dick.
CSR #2: Oh, yeah? Well I'm a customer service representative. I don't represent shit!

Chesapeake, Virginia

Coworker: Okay, I’m headed out to the meeting. I have the cell phone if you need me…Does this have to be turned on, or will it turn itself on when a call comes in?

1001 North 19th Street
Arlington, Virginia

HR peon in charge of sexual harassment issues: Lucy*, it’s so good to see you! I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on!
Lucy: I just want everyone within earshot to know that she’s talking about seeing me at the gym, and not in any improper activity!

4850 Mark Center Drive
Alexandria, Virginia

Woman on phone: I'm not going to eat before something called “belly-buster night!”

Arlington, Virginia

Worker bee: Oh, this is an ear. I thought it was something else.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: usual suspect

Associate attorney to boss: Hey! You're smiling! You must've killed a client!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: The Receptionist Hears the Darndest Things

Employee #1: Do you ever have dreams about losing your teeth?
Employee #2: Um, no.
Employee #1: I feel as if they are inadequate.

12012 Sunset Hills Road
Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly

Manager: Yes, he's alive because he ate monkey shit.

Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia

Finance clerk: I couldn't get it up!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Receptionitis

IT: That’s “Venus”, our main file server.
Architect: Why is it called “Venus”?
IT: Becuase it’s a big black bad-ass server.

603 King Street
Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: Charles Warren